Trump: I like People Who Don’t Die

‘Hard to be a hero when you’re dead!’

President Trump tweeted his condolences to the family of John McCain, the former prisoner of war, presidential candidate, and long-time U.S. senator from Arizona who passed away this weekend. But at an appearance at the Family Leadership Summit in Iowa this morning, Trump slammed McCain as a Republican senator who let his side down by dying. “He’s attracting all these glowing tributes because he died,” Trump says. “I like people who don’t die, I hate to tell you.”

John McCain: 1936-2018

Trump went on to say that McCain was the last, or maybe the second to last, senator to toe the Republican line on health care, tax cuts, and border security. “Nobody knows that,” Trump said. “McCain was upset once because I pointed that out, and I said, ‘Why? For telling the truth?’ See, you’re not supposed to say that somebody was the last or second to last at something because you’re supposed to be very nice. But, folks, I’m trying to make America great again.”

Critics jumped on Trump’s remarks as further proof of his inability to act presidential. “The president had every opportunity to recognize John McCain’s contribution to our country but instead he took issue with his absence from life,” said Steve Schmidt, a former Republican campaign consultant who has become outspoken against Trump.

Another critic, who asked not to be named so he could speak freely, says he certainly thinks Trump is capable of acting heroically on behalf of America. “I like people who are captured,” this person said, “if their name is Donald Trump.”

This is a work of satire. It is a fictional news article not meant to be taken seriously. Photos: pd and cc. Creative Commons and public domain. Not necessarily an endorsed use of images.

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