In a rare attempt at unification, President Trump in a televised address today said it’s time for Americans to put their divisions behind them and work toward a better future as one. “We have been working at cross purposes for too long,” he said from the East Room in the White House. “Low-IQ Americans and high-IQ Americans have been taking different paths while our country needs us to march in lockstep to reach the better America we all want. No more!”
He said the United States is poised to take the next step toward greatness but it’s up to low-status people to join hands with high-status people and for the educated to reach out to the uneducated. “Everyone has something to contribute,” he said, “from the biggest loser to the greatest winner.”
Reaching for the kind of oratorical heights he has shunned in the past, Trump asked “hysterical, wacky, crazy, and crooked women” to seek common ground with not-smart people, including men, so that “the country we all love so much can grow its economy, cut additional taxes, and beef up its military.
“Our divisions are great but our common purpose is greater,” he went on. “Whether you’re a lowlife, very weak, a lightweight, or have blood coming out of your whatever, we call upon you to step up for your country. Together, we will make America even greater than it is.”
Trump said he will be announcing an initiative shortly to bridge differences between Americans. It will ask “pigs to set aside their differences with dogs,” and people of higher quality, including older women “in good shape,” to reach out to women with “subpar bodies” to start the arduous task of bringing the country together.
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PARIS—President Donald Trump, in what many are calling an international gaffe and a sexist comment, called Brigitte Marcon, wife of French President Emmanuel Macron, “very high quality” and in fact “higher quality” than he expected. “The First Lady of our strong friend and ally France is in good shape and you can tell she’s a quality person, very beautiful, the highest quality,” Trump said yesterday during his meeting with President Macron and his wife. Trump was in France with his wife, Melania, to celebrate Bastille Day with the French people. “I know a lot of quality people,” Trump said. “The best high quality. I would certainly put the First Lady of France in that group. I put my wife in that group, too, of couse. There are a lot of people in that group.” More.
Ivana Trump, Donald Trump’s ex-wife and mother of his three oldest children, agreed with her former husband that their oldest son, Donald Jr., is “high quality” but also added that their two other children, Ivanka and Eric, are also “high quality.” Trump, 68, a Czech-American businesswoman and former fashion model who divorced Trump in 1992, said having quality children was a goal they both shared and one of the things they never had any disagreements over. “We had differences on some things, like me working outside the house, but I can say that we never disagreed on the need to have high quality children,” she said. “We also agreed that our children were in fact very high quality, so that’s something we both take pride in.” More.
President Donald Trump this morning announced the formation of a White House office to identify and assign blame to the responsible person for upcoming policy failures of his administration. “No administration will be as accountable to the American people as mine for assigning blame for problems that will be coming in the years ahead,” Trump said in announcing his new White House Office of Blame Laying. On the upcoming failure of the American Health Care Act, for instance, the finger of blame will be pointed at former president Barack Obama for his program to increase the number of people with health insurance by 20 million. “When the Republican bill to repeal and replace Obamacare results in higher premiums for worse insurance for a declining number of Americans, we will know immediately that Barack Obama is to blame. More.
The president of the United States, Donald Trump, said on Twitter today “DO SOMETHING!” The president, citing “GUILT by Democrats/Clinton,” pointed to the “Uranium to Russia deal, the 33,000 plus deleted Emails, the Comey fix and so much more.” In other news, Trump’s one-time campaign manager, Paul Manafort, was indicted by a federal grand jury this morning and faces possible criminal charges for money laundering in connection to the investigation by Special Prosecutor Robert Mueller, who is looking into collusion between the Trump campaign and Russia. Manafort business associate Rick Gates was also indicted in connection with the matter. White House spokesperson Sarah Huckabee-Sanders says Trump stands by his call for someone somewhere to do something. “The president is clear that he wants something to be done and he wants it done now,” Huckabee-Sanders said. More.
Three years after Donald Trump burst onto the political scene with his ride down the gilded escalator at Trump Tower, the well of ideas for stories about him is running dry, fake-news writers complain. “I’ve made up stories about affairs he’s had with porn stars and Playboy models, following beauty contest contestants into their dressing rooms, and grabbing women without their consent, and now I’m just depleted,” says Tucker Gretz, senior fake-news writer for The New York Times. Terry Carter, a fake-news writer for The Washington Post, says she thought she had the ultimate fake-news story with Trump . . . . More.
Thousands of supporters of President Trump say the investigation of Russia-Trump collusion by Special Counsel Robert Mueller is actually a sophisticated cover-up for a secret investigation into a global conspiracy led by Mueller to make people believe Trump never released his taxes, went bankrupt in the 1990s, and appeared on TV saying he thinks his daughter Ivanka is a piece of ass that he’d like to date. The theory has been circulating on what’s known as the dark web for months but has only recently come to light now that Mueller’s team is prosecuting former Trump campaign manager Paul Manafort. More.
President Donald Trump said today he wants to be the only thing people think about each and every moment of their lives, 24 hours a day, seven days a week. “I only exist if people are thinking about me and only me from the moment they wake up to the moment they go to sleep,” he told reporters at a briefing in the Oval Office. “There are still people in parts of Africa, Antarctica, and maybe a few other places that don’t think about me and what I’m doing to the United States and even to the world. But with my success ratcheting up tensions with North Korea, Venezuela, Iran, and other countries around the globe, I believe I will reach my mark soon.”More.
President Donald Trump this morning says hell probably lie about it, although he’s not sure if he’ll use the lie he’s been planning to use or a different lie, including one he hasn’t thought of yet. “We’ll see how it goes when we get to that point,” Trump told reporters outside the White House. “One thing I think I’ve made clear is, I don’t like to give away my plan. I like to keep people guessing.” Trump said he will probably lie later this week given the decision he made last week. “You know, we have to deal with the fake news like you wouldn’t believe,” he said. “I’m just going to see what the expedient thing to say is, and, frankly, I don’t know what that will be yet—or maybe I do. Maybe I don’t want to tell you.” He said part of what he says might be truthful. “Maybe there’s an expectation I’ll lie completely,” he said. “We just don’t know, but there could be some truth to what I say. More.
A confidential memo prepared by White House lawyers has found that the president of the United States is in fact above the law and that the American people are in fact out of luck. “After exhaustive research into the Constitution of the United States and applicable legal precedents,” the memo says, “we have concluded that the president of the United States is actually above the law notwithstanding the idea that no one is above the law.” The memo goes on to explain that the president can shoot people, including former heads of the FBI, and fabricate reasons for meeting with enemies of the state while a candidate for president without consequences. More.