Kim Insists ‘Very Strongly’ He’s Not Building New Missiles, Trump Says

President Trump today says he has assurances—“solid, very tough assurances”— from North Korean President Kim Jong-un that his government is not building new intercontinental ballistic missiles as satellite images from U.S. intelligence agencies indicate.

“It could be North Korea, it could be China, it could be a lot of people,” Trump told reporters at the White House.

Trump said the satellite photos, taken by a joint working group of the National Security Agency and the CIA and released by Trump National Security Advisor Dan Coats, should be weighed against “the very forceful, very strong denials” of Kim, who Trump says he considers “a very strong leader, a very tough and effective leader.”

Still friends?

Trump also alluded to potential bias in U.S. security agencies, which he said have holdovers from the Obama administration and “probably a lot of Democrats, Hillary supporters,” he said.

The satellite photos, released yesterday afternoon, show North Korea working on new missiles at the same Sanumdong factory that produced the country’s first intercontinental ballistic missiles that could reach the west coast of the United States.

The photos indicate at least one ICBM is under development, and possibly two, despite the pledge by Kim at his summit with Trump in June that his government would work toward denuclearization. After that summit, Trump tweeted that the world was safer and Americans should “sleep well tonight” because of the deal he had worked out with Kim.

Trump said he intends to be forceful in holding Kim to the details of their agreement, which doesn’t bind North Korea to anything. “We’ll have to see what we do, but I guarantee you it will be the toughest response he will have ever seen—tougher than anyone has ever seen,” he said. “A lot of people say it will be the toughest.”

This is a work of satire. It is a fictional news article not meant to be taken seriously. Photos: pd and cc. Creative Commons and public domain. Not necessarily an endorsed use of images.

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Fake-News Writers Say They’re Running Out of Fresh Ideas on Trump

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AP Stylebook: Trump Now Referred to as ‘The Criminal Enterprise That’s Taken Over the White House’

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Men Baffled By Stormy Daniels’ New Dance Routine

GREENVILLE, S.C.—Deja Vu was bustling on Monday night but many of the men at the strip club weren’t enjoying the star attraction’s dance routine. The club was featuring Stormy Daniels, the newly famous stripper who allegedly was paid $130,000 before the 2016 presidential election to keep quiet about an affair she had with Donald Trump after his youngest son was born. But instead of being treated to a dance routine involving booty shakes, the men got what looked like a complex interpretive dance routine. “I’m not sure, but I think she was trying to tell a story or something,” said Jake Snyder, a regular at the club. More.

News Alert! Koch, Right-Wing Media to Buy Magazines No One Reads!

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Sanders Ready to Give Hillary Clinton His End Horesment

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Vermont senator Bernie Sanders says he enderstands Hillary Clinton, doesn’t think she should be endicted for her use of a private email server while she was secretary of state, and confesses that Clinton has endeared herself to him. He also says its endeniable that Clinton is qualified to be president, accuses Republicans of trying to endermind the democratic process through voter registration laws, and says the United States will endure despite concerns over gun violence. On global affairs, he thinks the United Kingdom should endo its vote to leave the European Union, human rights violations are endemic in North Korea, and he calls on Israel to endertake the hard work needed to achieve peace with the Palestinians. More.

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apThe bible of the journalism profession, The Associated Press Stylebook, has downgraded Donald Trump to a “millionaire” because his “billionaire” claims cannot be verified. “We take our responsibilities as the official guide to journalists in the United States seriously, and we feel the only responsible course of action is to downgrade the status of Donald Trump from billionaire to millionaire until further notice,” says Alfred Whitehurst, editor-in-chief of the Stylebook. Under the reference to Trump in the latest edition, Trump is identified as, “Trump, Donald J., millionaire* real estate developer and 2016 presumptive Republican nominee for president of the United States.” More.

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Christians Trademark ‘God,’ Other Key Religious Terms

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God®

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