‘You’re Going to See Words Like You’ve Never Seen Before,’ Trump Tells Iran

Trump: has dictionary

President Trump in a late-night tweet threatened to unleash the full might of his words and sentences against Iran after that country’s president, Hassan Rouhani, said that the United States was playing with “the lion’s tail” in its handling of relations between the two countries.

“NEVER, EVER THREATEN THE UNITED STATES,” Trump tweeted late Sunday night, “OR YOU WILL SUFFER CONSEQUENCES THE LIKES OF WHICH FEW THROUGHOUT HISTORY HAVE EVER SUFFERED BEFORE.”

Trump went on to say he hasn’t even begun to tap into the words he has at his disposal to use against hostile foreign countries. Nor has he exhausted his many sentences and clauses, including indirect clauses, which he can draw on. “BE CAUTIOUS,” he told Rouhani. “I HAVE WORDS ON WHICH YOU DO NOT WANT TO BE ON THE RECEIVING END and MY SENTENCES CAN HURT TOO.”

Rouhani: Can attack in Farsi

Trump didn’t say what the words were and sentences would be, but he indicated he could deliver them in the same all-caps style he used Sunday night and could even break them up into more than one tweet, especially if he uses multiple subordinate clauses. “There are NO LIMITS to the words and sentences I could use AND HOW I RELEASE THEM,” he said.

Analysts say Trump is using his escalating twitter feud with Rouhani to distract from the continuing fallout from his summit in Helsinki, Finland, when he appeared to side with Russian President Vladimir Putin over U.S. intelligence on Russian election meddling, but the damage nevertheless would be very real if he continued to threaten Iran.

“Is his real target Republic voters in the heartland? Maybe,” says former George W. Bush official Nicolle Wallace on MSNBC. “But that doesn’t change the fact that words have consequences, and the consequences of threatening Iran can be severe.”

Wallace said Rouhani is more than capable of unleashing blistering words of his own in response to Trump’s bellicose tweets. “Are his words as powerful as the words of the president of the United States? Probably not,” Wallace said, “although he has access to words in Farsi, which the president doesn’t. The bottom line is, Rouhani can do a lot of damage, especially given the tinderbox that is the Middle East.”

White House sources say they don’t know what words Trump might use or which clauses or sentences he might put them in should the conflict escalate, but in the run-up to Trump’s meeting with North Korean leader Kim Jong-un, he used the words “fire” and “fury,” which analysts said were scary at the time. The phrase “Little Rocket Man” was also considered pretty brutal, although Kim responded by calling Trump a “dotard,” which analysts said was more damaging than anything Trump said.

“And that’s the lesson here,” said Joe Scarborough on his MSNBC Morning Joe show. “President Trump isn’t the only world leader with very, very tough words. As Kim showed, other leaders can respond with words that can really make headlines, especially if they’re in short sentences, and that gets at the heart of Trump’s power. If Trump can’t command the headlines, he loses, and therefore the United States loses. That could be a death sentence for us, or maybe some really bad marks, especially if people start looking at the grammar. We just need to do our homework.”

This is a work of satire. It is a fictional news article not meant to be taken seriously. Photos: pd and cc. Creative Commons and public domain. Not necessarily an endorsed use of images.

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