Impoverished Americans Celebrate White House Announcement the War on Poverty Has Been Won

Report released

Alphonse Jackson, an impoverished American in Brooklyn, N.Y., says he almost cried when he heard the Trump administration announcement this morning the War on Poverty, after some 50 years, has been won.

“I honestly thought I’d be poor forever,” said Jackson, 59. “This is one of those moments, like, ‘Where were you when Bobby Kennedy was shot?’ at least for me.”

Under the White House announcement, the War on Poverty is “largely over and a success” thanks to billions of dollars in federal assistance that have been given to poor Americans through a number of welfare programs, including Aid to Families with Dependent Children and Supplemental Income Assistance, which has reduced poverty 90 percent since the late 1960s.

Moving to the ‘burbs?

The White House Council of Economic Advisors is quoted in the report saying governmental assistance has led to “a substantial reduction in material hardship” among Americans, creating an opportunity for the federal government to start rolling back federal welfare funding.

Lemont Black, 62, a machinist who says he hasn’t worked since 1987, said he couldn’t be more happy about the news.  “I don’t think it changes much for me, since I got a heart condition,” he said. “But I got nieces and nephews and  I was afraid they’d live poor like me. They’re gonna have cars now and things like that, I think, which is good. I’ve always had to take the bus. I’m still gonna take the bus today. I’m used to it.”

For Verda Park, 74, of Savannah, Ga., the news is bittersweet. “I got dirt thrown on me when I went on those poverty marches in 1965, 1966,” she said. “I still remember the look in the eyes of some of them folk when they cursed me out. I feel like I’ve been rich for a long time. The younger generation, though. I don’t want them to get ideas and airs about how nice their TV is or how expensive the food is that they eat. They need to remember where they come from and appreciate how hard we fought so they could have spending money in their pocket today.”

Park said she hopes the news doesn’t mean her daughter is going on an expensive trip or something like that, because they were planning to take the bus to Wal-Mart to look for shoes for the kids. “I love my daughter but I know how she can be,” Park said. “It wouldn’t surprise me if she went and bought tickets to England or Paris or some place like that so she could spend her money. The War on Poverty may have been won, but kids still have a lot to learn.”

This is a work of satire. It is a fictional news article not meant to be taken seriously. Photos: pd and cc. Creative Commons and public domain. Not necessarily an endorsed use of images.

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