“Had I known about the groping that the students told me about before and after practice, I would have done something,” Johnson told CNN this morning.
Jordan was an assistant wrestling coach at the university from 1987 to 1995. He was elected to Congress in 2007 and has emerged as one of President Trump’s fiercest defenders. He’s being talked about as a replacement for retiring House Speaker Paul Ryan (R-Wis.).
Jordan labeled as “fake news” reports by the Washington Post and other publications that he took no action in response to accusations by seven former wrestlers that team doctor Richard Strauss groped them and others.
“Ask anyone who worked with me during my time as an assistant coach, I simply didn’t know about the groping that the students joked about on a daily basis, in the locker room, in the shower, and on the team bus,” he said.
News outlets have interviewed more than 100 former students, parents, university staff, and others to corroborate the accusations against the team doctor, who committed suicide in 2005.
One former wrestler told the Washington Post, “Jordan definitely knew that these things were happening . . . Everybody joked about it and talked about it all the time.”
Another former wrestler said, “I remember coming up and saying, ‘Strauss held my balls longer than normal.’ He just snickered.”
Jordan said he never snickered at the accusations he never heard on any of the days it was never brought to his attention.
This is a work of satire. It is a fictional news article not meant to be taken seriously. Photos: pd and cc. Creative Commons and public domain. Not necessarily an endorsed use of images.
Disgraced former Speaker of the House Denny Hastert says he’s ashamed of his behavior decades ago, when he acted inappropriately with underage boys as their teacher and coach in Yorkville, Ill. But he also defended himself, saying the Republican party has a long history of its members condemning people for marital infidelity and sexual “deviancy” while secretly engaging in the practices themselves. “Everyone knows the Republican party is full of closet homosexuals and serial marital cheaters even though it touts itself as the family-values party,” Hastert, 74, said after his admission in the U.S. District Court for the Northern District of Illinois, Eastern Division. “I can show you a list as long as my arm of Republicans in Congress who lie about their sexual identity and cheat on their spouses while condemning others for doing the same.” More.
EPA Administrator Scott Pruitt says he will stop making his most important decisions in his $43,000 soundproof phone booth because apparently the decisions he makes in it are really bad ones. “It seemed like a good idea at the time to have aides drive around D.C. to find that really nice smelling lotion I like,” said Pruitt, who has been hit with almost two dozen ethics violations since he was appointed last year. “But now that I’m not in my soundproof phone booth, I see that it wasn’t a good idea.” Pruitt said he was in hs phone booth when he tried to get his wife a Chik-Fil-A franchise, signed an agreement to lease a lobbyist’s apartment for $50 a night, and asked an aide to buy him a used mattress from the Trump International Hotel in D.C. More.
Conservative news tabloid National Midnight Star released a blockbuster report today claiming Donald Trump’s relationship with porn star Stormy Daniels in 2006 didn’t occur spontaneously but was arranged and paid for by his wife Melania so she could “get him out of the bed for a freakin’ while” and focus on raising their son. “You have to understand, Melania thought having sex with Donald Trump was a small price to pay to get the lifestyle she wanted with his money,” says a White House staffer who was quoted anonymously by the tabloid. “But she realized after a year with him that it wasn’t a small price at all; it was a price that was too steep for her to pay and she became desperate, as anyone would.” More.
GREENVILLE, S.C.—Deja Vu was bustling on Monday night but many of the men at the strip club weren’t enjoying the star attraction’s dance routine. The club was featuring Stormy Daniels, the newly famous stripper who allegedly was paid $130,000 before the 2016 presidential election to keep quiet about an affair she had with Donald Trump after his youngest son was born. But instead of being treated to a dance routine involving booty shakes, the men got what looked like a complex interpretive dance routine. “I’m not sure, but I think she was trying to tell a story or something,” said Jake Snyder, a regular at the club. More.
President Donald Trump this morning says hell probably lie about it, although he’s not sure if he’ll use the lie he’s been planning to use or a different lie, including one he hasn’t thought of yet. “We’ll see how it goes when we get to that point,” Trump told reporters outside the White House. “One thing I think I’ve made clear is, I don’t like to give away my plan. I like to keep people guessing.” Trump said he will probably lie later this week given the decision he made last week. “You know, we have to deal with the fake news like you wouldn’t believe,” he said. “I’m just going to see what the expedient thing to say is, and, frankly, I don’t know what that will be yet—or maybe I do. Maybe I don’t want to tell you.” He said part of what he says might be truthful. “Maybe there’s an expectation I’ll lie completely,” he said. “We just don’t know, but there could be some truth to what I say. More.
President Donald Trump is expected to blame his 2016 Democratic opponent Hillary Clinton later today. An administration official this morning said the President will be saying it’s Clinton’s fault and that Clinton’s actions raise questions. “Let’s not forget that questions remain unsettled over what Clinton did and what she didn’t do,” said the official, who spoke on the condition of anonymity in order to speak candidly about the President’s intentions. The official said Trump plans to assign the blame to Clinton and will likely point to unanswered questions as well. “He will be clear that the Democratic nominee he ran against is at fault, but whether he will pivot to unanswered questions in her past isn’t clear,” the official said. “We’re talking about the President. He goes off script sometimes.” More.