‘I Have a Gun and Know How to Use It On Myself,’ Trump Tells China, Other Trade Foes

Pair of winners

President Trump used the recent tariff woes hitting Harley-Davidson to double down on his threats to China and other trading partners that he’s prepared to tank any number of American businesses to punish their unfair trade practices. “Caterpillar, Carrier, 3M . . . no one has more good companies to destroy than I do when it comes to waging trade wars,” Trump said this morning.

Harley-Davidson, the iconic motorcycle manufacturer that Trump hosted at the White House early in his presidency, just announced plans to send some manufacturing outside the United States because of tariffs being imposed on it by other countries in retaliation for the tariffs Trump imposed on them.

“We don’t want to move,” said Matt Levatich, the company’s CEO. “We want to keep building our products here, but in the face of these new tariffs, it’s unlikely we can maintain our domestic operations.”

Trump said the company’s decision proves his trade actions are starting to bite. “I said winning a trade war would be easy and you can see how quickly one of our last remaining motorcycle companies folded,” Trump said.

More tough measures on American companies are coming if China, Canada, and European countries don’t back down from their tariffs on American products, Trump said. “We have strong companies now,” he said. “Let’s see how strong they are tomorrow when you retaliate against my next wave of tariffs.”

Levatich, who met personally with Trump when his company visited the White House, said he didn’t realize at the time he had run over his foot when he had ridden one of his bikes onto the White House driveway. “I didn’t feel it back in 2017,” he said. “It’s sure hurting now.”

This is a work of satire. It is a fictional news article not meant to be taken seriously. Photos: pd and cc. Creative Commons and public domain. Not necessarily an endorsed use of images.

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