The White House, scrambling to fill vacant spots, says it will start casting a wider net to find candidates who lack a basic sense of decency.
“Despite its reputation as a swamp, Washington really has too many people who have a sense of limits to work in this White House and that’s posing real problems now,” says White House Chief of Staff John Kelly in a candid interview with The Guardian. “We’re finding people who are used to lying balking at the amount of lying they would be expected to do. What’s more problematic, at least in the short term, is the absence of people who are comfortable taking the cruel and heartless steps that are needed to carry out this president’s agenda. I thought veteran Washington professionals were tougher than that, but I’m learning the city has its limits.”
Kelly said he’s having to search in places he never expected to search to find candidates, including rosters of former CIA agents and special forces commandos, violent criminals who’ve served their terms, and retired Wall Street bankers, including those who are living off the millions they made opening up phony bank accounts using unsuspecting customers’ names.
“A lot of the people we’re looking at don’t have policy experience but that’s less important right now than being able to look on indifferently when moms are separated from their children, possibly for the rest of their lives,” said Kelly.
Kelly said he tells recruits that they would be working for a man who expects utmost loyalty from his people but who gives none in return. “What we’re finding is that, some recruits who would be a good fit turn the job down because, although they have no trouble sleeping at night when their actions result in terrible things happening to people, they expect a certain amount of cover from their boss in return,” he said. “They don’t like getting thrown under the bus, in other words. Unfortunately, I can’t sugarcoat the truth. I tell them they’re almost certainly going to leave under bad circumstances, facing legal bills on their own, and that’s when they wish me luck but say no thanks.”
One promising source of recruits is in Ukraine, where many seasoned operatives are out of work. So far, none of them can get past clearance, but Kelly says he’s thinking of having President Trump pre-pardon them. That will enable them to come on board while at the same time protecting them for when they’re indicted and found guilty of a crime while in the White House. “It’s not how I prefer to staff the White House, if only because their English is so bad, but it’s my most promising option right now,” Kelly said.
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Besieged former Trump lawyer Michael Cohen says he should get the soundproof phone booth in the EPA director’s office now that Scott Pruitt has resigned from that position because no one on earth needs a secure place to make phone calls more than he does. “I’ve got a dozen prosecutors poring through every computer, laptop, tablet, and phone I own,” Cohen complained to reporters this morning. “If I had a carrier pigeon they’d be searching its legs for private messages. I need that friggin’ phone booth.” Cohen, who worked as Trump’s fixer for more than a dozen years and is at the center of an investigation into payments he made to women to keep them quiet about alleged sexual encounters they had with the president before he took office, says he’s owed at least the phone booth since he basically got nothing out of Trump’s 2016 election victory. More.
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President Donald Trump, speaking in China while on his Asia tour, said he should step down if allegations that he groped women without their consent years ago are true. “Like most Americans, I believe we cannot allow a mere allegation, in this case one from many years ago, destroy a person’s life,” the president said in Beijing. “However, I also believe that if these allegations are true, I should do the right thing and step aside.” The allegations concern incidences dating back to the 1990s and earlier. Almost 20 women have come forward to allege Trump touched them inappropriately, in some cases grabbing their genitalia without their consent. More.
General practitioners and internal medicine specialists across the country say they’re seeing a sharp rise in men shittin’ bricks and they’re at a loss to explain why. According to an alert released by the National Institutes of Health, the number of men shittin’ bricks has risen from less than one in every 100 office visits to almost five in every 100 visits in just the last two months, a baffling jump in a condition for which there is no effective treatment. “Is there something in the environment that’s causing a spike in men shittin’ bricks? We just don’t know,” says Peter Nelson, director of internal medicine research at the National Institutes of Health and the lead author of an NIH alert on the alarming trend. More.
Citing a “woeful and widespread” lack of training on how to talk to women, researchers participating in a joint Harvard-MIT project say 90 percent of American men would never get laid if they didn’t use harassment as a coercive tactic. “What we’re seeing is an education gap that is having tragic and traumatic consequences for women throughout the United States,” says Jane Halverson, lead researcher on the project. “Most men simply have no understanding of what it takes to initiate an intimate relationship with a woman without resorting to brutish behavior.” The research report, called “Lateral Inequality in Male-Female Intimacy Relations in the United States,” finds pervasive use of coercion and “asymmetric procreative tactics” by men in their interactions with women. “We’ve long suspected men rely on their dominance in size and power, including economic power, to get from women what under ordinary circumstances would be freely given,” says Joseph LaBoudin, professor of sociology at Columbia, who did not participate in the research. More.
Stung by derisive comments that followed their use of tiki torches at their Charlottesville rally this summer, supremacist groups around the country say they’re now using the new SmartTorch app for their events. “Our goal has always been to stoke fear in the hearts of liberals and progressives and other snowflakes that the white supremacist movement is for real and it’s large,” says Richard Spencer, leader of a white supremacist think tank based in Alexandria, Va. “Obviously we can’t do that if people are laughing at or mocking our torches. That’s why we’ve found the new Smart Torch app indispensible for our rallies.” More.
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