Ivanka, Jared Removed from White House Under Family Separation Policy

You have to go?

Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner, the daughter and son-in-law of President Trump, were greeted at the White House Monday morning by federal agents carrying out the government’s policy of separating children from parents who are illegal.

“The law is very clear that, even though Ivanka and Jared are employed at the White House as advisors to the president, they must be removed because bible,” Stewart Smith, head of the ICE White House Division, said in a statement.

‘Time to go, sweetheart’

Lawmakers and others immediately condemned the action as heartless and immoral. “To separate children from their parents, no matter the illegality of the parent, is wrong,” said Charles Schumer (D-N.Y.), minority leader of the Senate.

Former First Lady Laura Bush, in a rare rebuke of another administration, called on President Trump to step in and end the cruel detainment of his children. “No children deserve to be denied access to the place where, for the past 18 months, they’ve been putting down roots,” she said.

In a poignant twist, the action came the day after Father’s Day. “It’s a sad statement about our country that the two children of Donald Trump, through no fault of their own, cannot work in the White House because their father is probably illegal,” said Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.), House Minority Leader. “Sad but not surprising that our polarized country has come to this moment.”

President Trump has been accused of occupying the White House illegally because of help from Russia, an enemy of the United States. If it turns out Trump’s campaign team colluded with Russia, lawmakers could initiate impeachment of the president, although analysts say that’s unlikely to happen.

A “#FreeIvankaandJared” movement has sprung up on Twitter. It’s gotten little traction, though. Only 12 people have joined it.

This is a work of satire. It is a fictional news article not meant to be taken seriously. Photos: pd and cc. Creative Commons and public domain. Not necessarily an endorsed use of images.

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