Harold Bornstein Bummed He Probably Won’t Be Asked to Be White House Physician

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Not Bornstein, but he kind of looks like this

Donald Trump’s former personal physician, Harold Bornstein, says he’d like to be the next White House physician now that Ronny Jackson has resigned, but he doesn’t think he’ll be asked. “They know my number,” says Bornstein.

Bornstein was the physician who released the infamous letter in 2015 that said Trump would be the “healthiest individual ever elected to the presidency” and that his “physical strength and stamina are extraordinary.”

Bornstein now says he never wrote the letter. Trump “dictated that whole letter,” he told CNN earlier this week.

Analysts say it makes sense Bornstein would admit now to the ruse because he’s still smarting from having his office raided by Trump associates after he disclosed Trump’s use of a hair-growth supplement, finasteride.

Not the letter, but it kind of looks like this

The supplement is part of a class of drugs called 5-alpha-reductase-inhibitors, which spur hair growth by reducing testosterone levels—and sexual performance. “Boy, was he mad,” Bornstein said. “His hair is thin, but so is his skin.”

Bornstein says he was upset at having his office raided and all of Trump’s medical records removed but not surprised. “It’s like the United States military,” he says. “When you have that many bombs and guns, you want to use them. When you have that many goons and thugs, you want you use them. These guys need to keep busy.”

Bornstein says he’ll probably lose his medical license now that he’s admitted he allowed his patient to write his own bill of health. “I checked the American Medical Association manual and it’s pretty clear the doctor is supposed to write that,” he said.

It’s not a big deal, though, he added. Because, like Trump’s personal attorney, Michael Cohen, he only has a couple of clients. “But unlike Cohen, I won’t take a bullet for Trump,” he said. “Cohen probably won’t either, but I never said I would.”

This is a work of satire. It is a fictional news article not meant to be taken seriously. Photos: pd and cc. Creative Commons and public domain. Not necessarily an endorsed use of images.

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