Trump Surprised How Good Melania Looks When She Actually Smiles

President Donald Trump said he can’t believe how beautiful his wife Melania looked when Barack Obama leaned over and made her smile at the funeral of former First Lady Barbara Bush April 21.

“The beautiful First Lady Melania Trump looked radiant at Barbara Bush funeral,” Trump tweeted on Sunday morning, the day after the funeral. “Must give credit to Obama, even though he left me with mess in White House and almost ruined America before I came in and made country great again.”

Trump said his wife smiles at him all the time and he called rumors of her being upset for his alleged affairs with prostitutes, porn stars, and playmates overblown. “Melania knows the stories aren’t true—they’re put out by haters and those jealous of my presidency,” Trump tweeted. “The truth is, we have one of the great marriages of all time. Wonderful First Lady Melania very happy living in WH. People don’t want to believe this, but I’ve made her smile many, many times.”

Speculation erupted on Twitter yesterday about what Obama could have said to Melania to make her smile so unaffectedly.

‘I’ve been funny many, many times.’

“Living proof that it is more fun and relaxing to be with Barack Obama at a funeral than it is to be with Donald Trump at a festive social event,” a person who goes by the name Positive Politics said in one tweet. “Once you go Barack, you never go back,” a person with the name Indy said.

White House staffers said they don’t expect the president’s generosity of spirit to last long. “Barack Obama is living the life, raking in the money, and the person everyone wants to invite to their party,” one staff aide said. “President Trump is facing Robert Mueller, his past business deals are being scrutinized, and in six months he might have to pardon his oldest son. You think he won’t be spending the rest of his presidency trying to get Obama sent back to Kenya? He’s got to do something to make himself feel better after this.”

This is a work of satire. It is a fictional news article not meant to be taken seriously. Photos: YouTube video screen shot. Creative Commons and public domain. Not necessarily an endorsed use of images.

More stories:

Melania’s Body Double Speaks Out, Says She’s Repeatedly Asked Donald to Provide a Body Double at Night

First Lady Melania Trump’s body double, Nika Horvath, came forward today to confirm her role as a stand-in for the First Lady after her identity was revealed by childhood friends who saw her on TV while Donald Trump spoke about the Iranian nuclear agreement. “It is not my favor to be in public eye in this manner but I cannot hide from the knowledge now and so I speak out,” says Horvath, who, like Melania Trump, was born in Novo Mesto, Slovenia, in 1970. Horvath, a fashion model who has worked mainly in Eastern Europe and parts of Northern Africa, says she and the First Lady became friends in elementary school in part because they looked so much alike. “The people they would comment on our physical characters and they put us together and that was good because we like each other, yes, right from the beginning days,” she said. More.

Melania ‘First Responder’ Stiletto Boots Flying Off Shelves, Retailers Say

Retailers across the United States and even in Europe and Asia say they can’t keep their new line of Melania “First Responder” Stiletto Boots in stock as women strive to be the first among their friends and coworkers to sport the rugged-yet-sexy boots from hot designer Peter Cremlin. “Right now we’re just trying to fill orders on an emergency basis as fast as we can and we just ask our customers to be patient as we ride out this storm of demand,” says Stephen Caine, Saks Fifth Avenue’s general manager for merchandise. “We are in contact with our suppliers around the world to get these orders filled as quickly and as efficiently as possible.” The boots, which retail for between $999 and $1,499 in stores throughout the United States, have generated some controversy as critics say they exploit the devastation in the Texas Gulf Coast due to Hurricane Harvey, which left dozens of people dead and thousands homeless. Critics also complain that the boots, which combine the rugged military style of Army combat boots with sexy Italian stiletto heels, are manufactured in factories in Asia, where worker standards and wages are low. More.

Unidentified Beauty Object Thought to be Melania Trump

Recent sightings in the foothills of Spring Creek, Calif., of a mysterious beauty object have caused a stir in this former mining town 175 miles north of San Francisco. “I haven’t seen the town buzzing like this since we had the frog jumping contest here one year because the track was too muddy in Calaveras County,” says Sam Baker, a retired rancher who serves as the town’s unofficial historian. The cause of all the excitement are recent sightings of an unidentified beauty object that many locals believe is Melania Trump, the rarely seen wife of President Donald Trump. “We thought she only existed in New York City,” says Helen Carter, owner of Carter’s Diner on Route 43. “The idea that she would be sighted way out here—about as far from New York City as you can get—makes me think it’s not really her but a local girl who probably got pregnant and doesn’t want to tell her parents.” More.

Trump Says He’ll Let Mexican First Lady Angélica Rivera Into U.S.

commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Angelica_Rivera.jpgRepublican presidential nominee Donald Trump, fresh from his dramatic trip to Mexico to discuss immigration policy, said he would allow Angélica Rivera, the wife of Mexican president Enrique Peña Nieto, into the country if she wants to come. “We would make an exception for her, absolutely, and I told her that when I was in Mexico,” Trump said at a campaign stop in Albuquerque, N.M. “I told her I’ll have a car ready for her anytime she wants to come. She has my number. She said she’d like to see Trump Tower. I said I’d like to show it to her.” Rivera, 47, an actress and model before she became Mexico’s First Lady, was born in Mexico City. She has been married to Peña Nieto since 2010. Trump’s trip to Mexico has generated a considerable amount of analysis. In Mexico, he appeared to take a conciliatory approach to the country, but that appeared to change in a major address he gave in Phoenix that night. More

Men Baffled By Stormy Daniels’ New Dance Routine

GREENVILLE, S.C.—Deja Vu was bustling on Monday night but many of the men at the strip club weren’t enjoying the star attraction’s dance routine. The club was featuring Stormy Daniels, the newly famous stripper who allegedly was paid $130,000 before the 2016 presidential election to keep quiet about an affair she had with Donald Trump after his youngest son was born. But instead of being treated to a dance routine involving booty shakes, the men got what looked like a complex interpretive dance routine. “I’m not sure, but I think she was trying to tell a story or something,” said Jake Snyder, a regular at the club. More.

Explosive Report: Non-Disclosure Agreement Keeps Trump From Criticizing Nikki Haley

An explosive report from the New York Times to be released today reveals why Nikki Haley, the U.S. ambassador to the United Nations, remains one of the few Trump appointees to escape the president’s wrath when things go wrong in his administration: he’s bound by a non-disclosure agreement with the popular former governor of South Carolina. “I can neither confirm nor deny that the president has signed a non-disclosure agreement with Ambassador Haley,” says a White House official who spoke on condition of anonymity. “You’ll have to ask the president that, because I am not at liberty to talk about matters relating to non-disclosure agreements between the president and the people who work for him. Perhaps I’d like to talk about it, but perhaps I can’t.” More.

Woman Says She’s Trump’s Daughter; Seeks White House Bedroom

wnrIn a sensational claim, the supermarket tabloid Weekly National Report says a 50-year-old woman in Fayetteville, Ark., Dannielle Eggles, is the daughter of presumptive Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump and she’s demanding a “White House bedroom” for her and her husband if he is elected president. “This is the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but I feel I must come forward because it’s time for my daddy to stop pretending I don’t exist,” Eggles said at a press conference in Fayetteville yesterday. Eggles, a clerk at Target, said she had resigned herself to living in the shadow of her famous father and her glamorous half brothers and sisters, but six months ago she and her husband, Ron Eggles, decided she could no longer do that. “We just thought it wasnt fair that Ivanka, Tiffany, Eric, Donald, Jr., and Barron all get to live the high life while we have to scrape our fingers to the bone just because daddy pretends I don’t exist.” More.

Advertisements