Russia, Cambridge Analytica Spar Over Who Won Election for Trump

Alexander Nix, the embattled former head of data-mining company Cambridge Analytica, took issue with a claim by a key Russian figure in the Trump campaign collusion scandal that Russia was the decisive factor in Donald Trump’s improbable election to the presidency of the United States.

“Anybody who knows the inside story of Donald Trump’s election victory knows that it was our data targeting that led to his win and that Russian involvement, despite all the help it got from the Trump campaign, was a side player at best,” said Nix, who resigned from his company last week after a video surfaced suggesting the company used questionable tactics to help candidates.

Nix spoke on the Rachel Maddow show on MSNBC. But later in that show, Sergei Yeltznikoff, a key player in the troll farm that was responsible for highly targeted ads on Facebook and other social media sites that analysts say had unprecedented sway in manipulating Americans’ opinions, called it laughable that Cambridge Analytica was more influential that Russian trolls.

“I for one do know the inside story of Donald Trump’s election and everyone knows Cambridge Analytica was always regarded as the gang that couldn’t shoot straight,” Yeltznikoff said. “Yes, they had access to Facebook profiles of 50 million Americans, but they got their psychographic analyses completely wrong. We, on the other hand, were getting our Jesus ads to the Jesus people and our gun-freedom ads to our gun-freedom people. They were trying to convince anti-abortion Midwesterners that Hillary wanted to kill coal, but no one in the part of Michigan that has any people in it cares about coal. Meanwhile, they were telling homophobes in Wisconsin that Hillary was in Wall Street’s pocket. I’ve never seen such clownish psychographic targeting in all my life. They obviously did not spend the Cold War understanding covert manipulation. Maybe if they weren’t so busy using Ukrainian hookers to compromise politicians they would know their pro-lifers from their first-Amendment people, but obviously they don’t.”

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Stephen Bannon, Trump’s former campaign manager and senior White House aide, said they’re both wrong. “It was the last-minute announcement that Comey was reopening the email investigation,” Bannon told Maddow. “Cambridge and Russia, for all the help they got from the Trump people, were staring down the barrel of defeat until Comey came to their rescue.”

James Comey is the former FBI director whom Trump fired for investigating Trump-Russia collusion during the campaign. Comey said on Twitter last night that his book is set to come out in just a few days. “That will give the inside scoop of what happened,” he tweeted, “and why Trump and not Hillary Clinton is our president despite her getting almost three million more votes.”

This is a work of satire. It is a fictional news article not meant to be taken seriously. Photos: pd and cc. Creative Commons and public domain. Not necessarily an endorsed use of images.

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