President Donald Trump took aim at law enforcement officers who waited outside while a former student shot up his school in Florida two weeks ago by saying he would have tried to save the kids even if he were unarmed and bone spurs on his feet were hurting him.
“You don’t know until you test it,” Trump told a gathering of governors at the Whte House yesterday. “But I think I would have gone in. I love the kids, so I would have tried to ignore the pain on my heels. I’ve been told I’m a tough cookie. People have made that observation about me. It’s a tough call, but I think I would have gone in, although I probably would have had a bad limp.”
Trump has proposed arming a portion of the country’s teachers and training them in the use of firearms as a way to deter school shootings, which are on the rise. The last major shooting, at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Fla., left 17 students and two teachers dead after Nikolas Cruz, 19, used a legally purchased assault rifle in a shooting spree.
The school resource officer on the scene, Scot Peterson, elicited criticism for waiting outside during the shooting, and other Broward Country officers who arrived at the scene also awaited outside before entering the school, according to reports.
Trump said they might have had problem with their bone spurs, but then they probably shouldn’t have been working as sheriff’s deputies. “Some people get deferments because of bone spurs,” he said. “I’ve heard about those. Maybe the sheriff should have sent officers whose feet didn’t hurt them.”
This is a work of satire. It is a fictional news article not meant to be taken seriously. Photos: pd and cc. Creative Commons and public domain. Not necessarily an endorsed use of images.
The National Rifle Association says it’s prohibiting good guys with guns at the speech Vice President Mike Pence will be giving later this week at the NRA’s convention in Dallas. “Good guys with guns will be asked to leave their guns outside the room where the vice president is speaking,” NAR President and Chairman Wayne LaPierre said today. “We have arranged to have their arms safely and securely stored on their behalf.” LaPierre said the decision does not change the necessity of having good guys with guns at public schools throughout the United States. “To prevent bad guys with guns harming children while they’re at school, it’s imperative that good buys with guns be present at the schools,” he said. More.
House and Senate leaders, concerned recent moves by Donald Trump could cause lasting damage to the United States, say it might be necessary to remove the President from office before he’s given due process because going through impeachment and then a vote to remove him would take too long. “We like taking his office first and going through due process second,” Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) told reporters after meeting with a bi-partisan group of leaders from the House and Senate. “Think of a crazy person holding a gun. You want to take the gun first and give him due process later.” McConnell said lawmakers don’t have a lot of time because the President is about to launch a trade war, which is expected to lead to retaliatory measures from many countries, including many allied countries, and the midterm elections are coming up and the President has yet to order action against efforts Russia has already taken to destabilize the process. More.
WASHINGTON–Wayne LaPierre, executive vice president of the National Rifle Association, made a rare admission that so-called second-amendment nuts have become such a problem that people should be thankful they can arm themselves under the second amendment to protect themselves against them. “You can see it in their eyes,” LaPierre said of second-amendment nuts after speaking at a conference here. “They have that look that says, ‘You’ll take my gun when you claw it out of my cold, dead hands.'” LaPierre said people should take advantage of the second amendment by buying a gun and keeping it with them in case they come in contact with one of these second-amendment nuts. “You don’t want to argue with them unless you can match their firepower,” he said. “Really, It’s just common sense.” The second amendment gives people a constitutional right to keep and bear arms so the state can mount a militia with citizens who are prepared to fight. More.
Democratic National Committee Chairman Tom Perez would neither confirm nor deny that party leaders are quietly courting a shark to run against President Donald Trump in 2020 should he run for reelection, as he’s expected to do. “All I can say is, we have many potential candidates who are the right person to lead our country at an important time in our history and who are well positioned to defeat our historically unpopular President,” Perez said when asked today about whether his organization is in talks with a shark to run against the President. Rumors that the DNC is courting a shark surfaced this week when Rep. Seth Moulton (D-Mass.), an up and coming lawmaker who is said to be contemplating a run for president in 2020, accused the DNC of treating him and other potential candidates like “plankton and krill” who are “nothing more than calories to be filtered through the open mouths of a basking shark.” More.
National Rifle Association President and CEO Wayne LaPierre says he loves the life he leads and can’t believe his good fortune to live in a world in which he can occasionally walk down a street carrying only a light handgun and having only a single bodyguard hardening his perimeter. “There are a lot of bad people with guns but, fortunately, sometimes there are only a few of them around you in your immediate kill zone,” LaPierre said in a interview this morning with American Freedom News. LaPierre says his living compound in an undisclosed location in the Northern Virgina suburbs of Washington, D.C., is a wonderful retreat for him. Its network of armed check points enables him to . . . . More.
Mitt Romney, the former GOP presidential nominee and governor of Massachusetts, has announced he’s running for the seat of retiring U.S. Senator Orrin Hatch of Utah. “We need more Utah values in the federal government,” Romney said in his announcement video. He defined “Utah values” as taking bold stands that win admiring praise. “What we want are the kind of grandstanding statements that make people think you have a spine before you show them you don’t.” Romney pointed to his success disavowing his biggest achievement as governor of Massachusetts by saying his market-based approach to providing health insurance to everyone in the state was a mistake. “Had I known it would generate criticism from Republicans outside of Massachusetts I never would have implemented that successful program,” he said. Romney said he thinks he can prevail in heavily Republican Utah in part because he has the endorsement of President Trump. More.
The National Rifle Association has been working quietly for the last few months to get an amendment to the U.S. Constitution that deletes the words “keep and bear” in the Second Amendment and replaces them with “own” so the language in the gun-rights amendment matches their view that people have a right to gun ownership. “It’s kind of embarrassing, but we’ve been dropping anvils on the heads of anyone who challenges the right to gun ownership but, you know, the Constitution doesn’t even grant the right to gun ownership,” says James Smith, the NRA’s chief lobbyist. “It only grants the right to keep and bear arms, which is a different standard. Hah-hah. Do we look stupid or what?” More.
The mental health issues that are at the center of random gun shootings in the United States are absent in other countries, explaining why the United States leads disproportionately in the incidence of gun violence, a report from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology finds. “We thought it was the bedrock American belief in the right to bear arms that was at the root of the pervasive gun violence in our country, but in fact it’s a mental health issue,” says Meyer Steinberg, chair of the MIT Institute of Violence and Culture. More.
After the fourth school shooting and the twentieth mass shooting in the United States since the first of the year, the 700,000 Dreamers who were brought here as children and allowed to stay as long as they check in every two years say it’s okay if Congress wants to send them back to their native countries. “You know, we’ve been giving it some thought and, if you don’t want us here, we understand,” the Dreamers said in a joint letter they sent to Congress today, the day after a former student killed 17 students and faculty at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Fla. Jose Gonzalez, a Dreamer in Orlando, says he’ll probably be better off dealing with the gangs in his native El Salvador. “It’s true my mother just got a $1.50-a-week raise,” Gonzalez says. More.
House Speaker Paul Ryan (R-Wis.) responded to the latest mass shooting in the United States with a message that the Republican tax cuts are working and Congress is ready to tackle the country’s crumbling infrastructure with public-private partnerships that envision more toll roads. “Employers are hiring and giving their employees bonuses because our tax cuts are stimulating the economy,” Ryan said at a hastily called press conference to respond to the mass shooting at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Fla. At least 17 students and faculty were killed when a former student opened fire with an automatic weapon. It was the fourth school shooting since the first of the year and the 18th mass shooting over that same time period. “What we’re seeing is a new incentive to invest in the economy and build our competitiveness for the next century,” Ryan said. More.
President Trump, long considered a master at keeping track of his lies, is starting to get his lies confused with one another and making mistakes that are uncharacteristic of him, aides say. “I don’t know if it’s the pressure of the job or his age or some combination of the two, but the President is not the guy who could make up stories on the fly anymore,” one aide said on the condition of anonymity so the person could speak freely about the President’s mental state. The aide cited the current messaging challenge posed by former White House secretary Ron Porter, who resigned two weeks ago after allegations arose that he abused his two ex-wives and also an ex girlfriend. More.
Top White House policy aide Stephen Miller has been accused of abusing himself by yelling at his face in the mirror when he shaves, making disparaging remarks about his empty social life when he eats dinner alone, and wishing he were anyone other than the most disliked person in Washington when he wakes up in the morning. The accusation, which was first reported by The Guardian of London, is based on an extensive interview with Miller by the publication and corroborated by Miller’s neighbor, who says she hears “abusive, expletive-filled language” every night between Miller and his bathroom mirror. More.
President Trump says his military parade, in which soldiers, tanks, missiles, and other vehicles will come down Pennsylvania Ave. in formation to showcase U.S. military might, will attract bigger audiences than President Obama’s military parade and will even be bigger than the parades of the last 10 presidents combined. “The tanks, the trucks—they’ll be like nothing we ever saw with Obama or even with the others,” Trump said this morning. “Very few people showed up for Obama’s parade. And I heard that some of the tanks broke down, Jeeps had flat tires, some soldiers didn’t march in a straight line.” More.