Military Parade Will Be Bigger Than Obama’s, Trump Says

Trump: French parade impressive

President Trump says his military parade, in which soldiers, tanks, missiles, and other vehicles will come down Pennsylvania Ave. in formation to showcase  U.S. military might, will attract bigger audiences than President Obama’s military parade and will even be bigger than the parades of the last 10 presidents combined.

“The tanks, the trucks—they’ll be like nothing we ever saw with Obama or even with the others,” Trump said this morning. “Very few people showed up for Obama’s parade. And I heard that some of the tanks broke down, Jeeps had flat tires, some soldiers didn’t march in a straight line.”

Trump, who attended a French military parade last year and is said to have been impressed by it, said he vaguely remembers the military parade held by President George Bush in 1991, after the Gulf War, but can’t remember the “forgettable” military parades of the other recent presidents: George W. Bush, Clinton, Reagan, Carter, Ford, Nixon, Johnson, or Kennedy.

The President said the country needs the parade because many people around the world might not know how big and powerful the military of the United States is.

“Do people even remember Obama’s parade?” he said. “I don’t think they do. Why should North Korea respect us if they think we don’t have a big military? Maybe Iran doesn’t live up to its nuclear agreement because it thinks we don’t have many tanks and missiles. People say Obama didn’t do a good job of letting the world know we have a strong military and I have to agree with that. We want to show people we’re a military power in a way that we never did before. People will see we’re a different country now. We’re going to say a lot about who we are now with this parade.”

This is a work of satire. It is a fictional news article not meant to be taken seriously. Photos: pd and cc. Creative Commons and public domain. Not necessarily an endorsed use of images.

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