Bummer! Just Spent That $1.5 Trillion We Could Have Used on Our Infrastructure

Ryan: ‘Rats!’

House Speaker Paul Ryan (R-Wis.) says he’s bummed Congress just added $1.5 trillion to the deficit for tax cuts because that’s the exact same amount President Trump says he wants to use to rebuild the country’s crumbling infrastructure.

“Just really bad timing,” Ryan told reporters after President Trump concluded his State of the Union address to a joint session of Congress. “We know how badly we need to repair our roads, bridges, dams, train tracks, airports, canals, ports, and other big public works projects but unfortunately we just burned through the exact same $1.5 trillion Trump says we need to pay for our tax cuts to the wealthiest Americans.”

Trump: $1.5 trillion should do it

Ryan said that $1,5 trillion would really come in handy right now, because other countries are pulling ahead of the United States in the quality of their infrastructure and that makes them more competitive from a business standpoint. “Companies don’t want to build a new factory here if our roads and ports are 20-years out of date,” he said. “But the money we could have used to bring our infrastructure up to modern standards just went into the wealthiest Americans’ pockets so they can get another house or another boat or put a swimming pool into one or all of their houses.”

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Darn!

Ryan said he could kick himself for not waiting to see what Trump had in mind on infrastructure before increasing the country’s deficit so a few wealthy families could become even wealthier. “Better infrastructure would help our country boost its wealth-building capacity and that would help everyone but, doggone it, we just borrowed a whopping $1.5 trillion for our donors and now there’s no way we can borrow yet another $1.5 trillion to invest in our country,” he said. “That was really dumb. Now we’re stuck with our third-world infrastructure even though we have a plan now for fixing it up. Someone else really needs to take over management of our money because we sure as hell can’t do it. I wish someone would do some planning around here.”

This is a work of satire. It is a fictional news article not meant to be taken seriously. Photos: pd and cc. Creative Commons and public domain. Not necessarily an endorsed use of images.

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