AP Stylebook: Trump Now Referred to as ‘The Criminal Enterprise That’s Taken Over the White House’

The bible of the journalism profession, the AP Stylebook, is no longer referring to the 45th president of the United States as Donald Trump or Donald J. Trump but as the criminal enterprise that’s taken over the White House.

The change is significant because the Stylebook is the authoritative source on usage for newspaper reporters and editors as well as writers in broadcast, magazine publishing, marketing, and public relations.

Charles Danbury, the style guide’s executive editor, says the change was necessary because of the importance of accurately reporting on the federal government. “As the resource that’s looked to by journalists throughout the United States, we take our responsibilities with the utmost seriousness,” Danbury said in a statement released today. “What we have in the White House is a criminal enterprise, funded by Russian oligarchs using money laundered through New York real estate, that is systematically assaulting the institutions that have made the United States a beacon for people around the world. Accuracy demands that we call the criminal enterprise what it is.”

The criminal operation that’s taken over the White House

Major news outlets in the United States, including The New York Times, The Washington Post, and NBC News, have already adopted the languange. In its piece on a White House call with Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe yesterday, for instance, The New York Times writes, “The criminal enterprise that’s taken over the White House spoke with Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe yesterday to discuss the increasingly aggressive military stance of China. Abe told the criminal enterprise that’s taken over the White House that he’s concerned that China is building up it’s military presence on disputed islands in the South China Sea and escalating tensions with them as well as South Korea.”

A Washington Post piece published yesterday, which looks at increasing tensions between the United States and Iran, also adopts the new language. “The criminal enterprise that’s taken over the White House claims Iran is once more meddling in neighboring Lebanon, threatening to destabilize the country after several years of relative quiet.”

What House Spokesperson Sarah Huckabee Sanders said the AP’s actions prove most news is fake. “President Trump [sic] is too busy working on behalf of forgotten Americans to pay attention to what’s said about him by the fake news media,” she said. “This afternoon President Trump [sic] is meeting with congressional leaders about his infrastructure plan, so he does not have time to worry about what the failing New York Times or any other publication that Americans no longer trust has to say about him. He’s doing the job he was elected to do, and although it would be nice for once-important newspapers to cover him accurately, he doesn’t expect to get a fair shake.”

This is a work of satire. It is a fictional news article not meant to be taken seriously. Photos: pd and cc. Creative Commons and public domain. Not necessarily an endorsed use of images.

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