Half a dozen conservative Republican women are being accused of making false accusations against the conservative Republican candidate in the race for the U.S. Senate seat in Alabama.
“What we have are conservative Republican women who voted for Donald Trump who are working with liberal Democrats to prevent the conservative Republican candidate from winning the Senate seat,” John Smith of the Alabama Republican party said today.
Smith accused Leigh Corfman and several other conservative Republican women of falsely accusing conservative Republican Senate candidate Roy Moore of behaving inappropriately toward them when they were teenagers and he was a man in his thirties.
“These conservative Republican women who voted for Trump are apparently trying to prevent the conservative Republican candidate from winning the special election,” said Smith. “They are apparently motivated by political reasons to work with liberal Democrats to swing the election in favor of the candidate who supports abortion rights, homosexual marriage, amnesty, and lax drug laws—all the things they don’t believe in.”
Other Republican officials in Alabama agree the conservative Republican women don’t want to see the conservative Republican candidate win the race, so they’re lying about his relationships with them when they were teenagers and he was a man in his thirties.
“If you’re a conservative Republican woman who doesn’t want to see a victory by the candidate who is pro-life, pro-gun, pro-traditional marriage, and pro-God, then of course you’re going to lie about him trying to have sex with you when you were a teenager and he was a man in his thirties,” said Bill Jones, a senior political official with the state Republican party. “Of course you’re going to put yourself out there and ask everyone to hate you for trying to wreck his candidacy.”
Republican voters in the state say they’re outraged that these conservative Republican women are making up stories to prevent the conservative Republican candidate from winning.
“I think these women should be ashamed of themselves for trying to destroy the candidacy of this man because they don’t want to see his anti-abortion, anti-immigration, anti-gay, and anti-drug policies that they agree with put into place,” said Barbara Norton, a retired receptionist in Huntsville. “You wouldn’t expect conservative Republican women who voted for Donald Trump to make up these stories to hurt the conservative Republican candidate, but apparently they are working with liberal Democrats to do just that. I couldn’t be more disgusted by the unbelievable things these conservative Republican women are saying.”
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Alabama Republicans say they’re being inundated with robocalls by someone whose slurred speech makes it hard to understand what he’s saying but they believe he’s asking them to vote for Roy Moore, the Republican candidate for Senate. “Several times a night we’ll get this call and it’s this guy who sounds like he’s about 70 who’s saying something about Roy Moore but exactly what he’s saying is anyone’s guess because of how badly he slurs his speech,” says Rebecca Jackson, a retired teacher in Birmingham. “We think he’s saying ‘the United States needs a senator like Roy Moore’ but it sounds like ‘the yoo-nerted shnates needs a shneterer like roymer.'” Bill Davis, an insurance salesman in Montgomery, says he just lets the call go to voice mail now. “We’ll be having dinner and it’ll be like, ‘Here’s that drunk guy again!’ More.
Child molesters throughout the United States say they are waiting with bated breath at the outcome the Alabama Senate election next week, which pits an alleged child molester against a Democratic federal prosecutor. “It’s . . . it’s just the happiest day of my life—or will be,” said a child molester in Tucson, Ariz., who asked that his name not be used to protect his privacy. The child molester says he’s waiting for the day that he can “say my name loud and proud,” and he thinks that day will be much closer should the election win go to Roy Moore, the Republican candidate for Senate who is alleged to have molested half a dozen girls when they were teenagers and he was in is 30s. “I’d like to be able to tell the world, ‘I’m John Doe and I’m a proud child molester.’ More.
Pedophiles across the United States are coming out of the shadows and testing the waters for making deeper inroads into mainstream American society now that Republicans are defending accused child molester and Alabama Senate candidate Roy Moore. “I knew when Donald Trump won the Republican nomination in 2016 we would start to see great things happening in our country for sexual predators because he was sending signals that he had our backs,” says Tom Clark, a pedophile in Houston. “What I didn’t expect was this path to mainstream acceptability to open before his first year in office was out. I’m so stunned I have to make sure I’m really alive and not caught in a very, very good dream.” Clark and other pedophiles in the United States say they never thought they would live to see the day when their sexual perversion would become something other than the most heinous sexual act a person could commit. More.
It’s Plan B time at Time magazine. The editors of the once-important news publication are going back to their discard pile to select their Person of the Year for 2017 now that their first choice, Donald Trump, has spoiled the surprise. “I can’t confirm or deny that we were planning to name Donald Trump Person of the Year but I can say that we never tip our hand about who it’s going to be,” says Nancy Gibbs, editor of the storied magazine that’s now searching for relevance in today’s news-saturated world. Magazine sources say Trump was indeed going to be named Person of the year for the second time in a row, an unusual but not unprecedented editorial decision for the magazine, but no longer. “Our end-of-the year issue, in which we name the year’s most significant person, is one of the few remaining chances we have to be relevant, so of course we would never dilute this moment by naming Trump now that he’s blurted out our plan,” said one editorial source, who asked not to be named so he could speak frankly. More.
President Donald Trump said he’d rather have former judge Roy Moore as the new senator for Alabama than the Democrat, because he’s better on the issues and, in any case, if Moore preyed on teenage girls as alleged, it was decades in the past. “Its been years since I’ve grabbed a woman’s pussy without her consent,” said Trump, who spoke to reporters before leaving the White House to celebrate Thanksgiving in Florida. “Should I be held responsible for something I did years—decades—in the past? There is something called the statute of limitations. And I think that applies here.” More.
General practitioners and internal medicine specialists across the country say they’re seeing a sharp rise in men shittin’ bricks and they’re at a loss to explain why. According to an alert released by the National Institutes of Health, the number of men shittin’ bricks has risen from less than one in every 100 office visits to almost five in every 100 visits in just the last two months, a baffling jump in a condition for which there is no effective treatment. “Is there something in the environment that’s causing a spike in men shittin’ bricks? We just don’t know,” says Peter Nelson, director of internal medicine research at the National Institutes of Health and the lead author of an NIH alert on the alarming trend. More.
Kinko Bot®, the Japanese company that’s hoping to mass market the first sex robot, says its product is the long-sought solution to the plague of sexual harassment. “With all the scandals coming to light, it’s never been more clear that we need something like our sex robot to fill the need of men to have sex with beautiful women without having to go through all the boring preliminaries like taking women out to dinner, buying them flowers, and promising to marry them,” said Daisuki Nakamura, CEO of Kinko Bot®. Nakamura said his company’s line of robots are programmed to accept whatever approach men take to get women into bed, even if that approach would be considered harassment by a non-robot woman. “Inappropriate touching? Lewd remarks? It doesn’t matter,” said Nakamura. “Whatever approach is comfortable to you as the owner of one of our sex bots will be acceptable, because she is programmed not to be judgmental or even have a preference for how she likes to have sex. Frankly, she doesn’t even care if you’re not attractive or don’t make a lot of money.” More.
Citing a “woeful and widespread” lack of training on how to talk to women, researchers participating in a joint Harvard-MIT project say 90 percent of American men would never get laid if they didn’t use harassment as a coercive tactic. “What we’re seeing is an education gap that is having tragic and traumatic consequences for women throughout the United States,” says Jane Halverson, lead researcher on the project. “Most men simply have no understanding of what it takes to initiate an intimate relationship with a woman without resorting to brutish behavior.” The research report, called “Lateral Inequality in Male-Female Intimacy Relations in the United States,” finds pervasive use of coercion and “asymmetric procreative tactics” by men in their interactions with women. “We’ve long suspected men rely on their dominance in size and power, including economic power, to get from women what under ordinary circumstances would be freely given,” says Joseph LaBoudin, professor of sociology at Columbia, who did not participate in the research. More.
Alabama Republican Senate candidate Roy Moore called accounts of him dating teenage girls whose parents gave him permission to date them when he was in his thirties fake news. “Let me be clear,” said Moore. “It’s not true that I dated the teenage girls whose parents gave me permission to date them.” Moore also said there’s nothing wrong with him as a man in his thirties walking around shopping malls by himself as the press accused him of doing. “The press is wrong to say I innocently and lawfully walked around malls by myself as a man in my thirties,” he said. Moore, 70, is an evangelical Christian who has been an uncompromising critic of homosexuality. He was the chief justice of the Alabama Supreme Court before he was removed from office in 2003 for defying a court order to take down a statute of the Ten Commandments he had erected on the courthouse grounds. More.
Republican Alabama Senate candidate Roy Moore says allegations that he had inappropriate relations with teenage girls when he was a 30-year old man are false and that his relationship with them was limited to dressing up as a cowboy and playing make believe. “While it is utterly false that I kissed and inappropriately touched teenage girls when I was in my thirties, I will admit to dressing up as a cowboy and playing make-believe with them,” said Moore, 70, a former chief justice of the state supreme court. It’s not uncommon for Moore to make appearances dressed as a cowboy. In one speech he made during his primary battle with Lester Strange, the incumbent senator he went on to defeat, Moore gave his remarks wearing a cowboy hat, boots, a vest, and carrying a pistol. More.
President Donald Trump, speaking in China while on his Asia tour, said he should step down if allegations that he groped women without their consent years ago are true. “Like most Americans, I believe we cannot allow a mere allegation, in this case one from many years ago, destroy a person’s life,” the president said in Beijing. “However, I also believe that if these allegations are true, I should do the right thing and step aside.” The allegations concern incidences dating back to the 1990s and earlier. Almost 20 women have come forward to allege Trump touched them inappropriately, in some cases grabbing their genitalia without their consent. More.