President Donald Trump today called on his former Democratic opponent for the presidency, Hillary Clinton, to step down.
“Witch hunt against DT most unfair ever,” the president wrote on Twitter early this morning. “Where’s investigation into Dem/HC Russia collusion?! Clinton needs to step down NOW!!”
Reached while walking her dog with her family in the woods outside of Chappaqua, N.Y., Hillary Clinton said she had no comment.
Trump reiterated his call for Clinton to resign at a press briefing later in the morning. “Where are the calls from the fake media for Hillary Clinton to resign?” he said. “She needs to be investigated. She will be investigated. We know about the corruption, the uranium deal that let the Russians buy a quarter of our uranium here in the United States, and the money that went into her sex-harasser husband’s phony foundation.”
Trump also said former president Barack Obama should resign. “He was the most divisive president ever,” he said. “Completely unfit for office, as we all know now—too late, unfortunately. He really needs to step down for that completely corrupt Russia deal. The collusion, the uranium. It’s disgusting. If he doesn’t step down, he should be forced out.”
Trump added that he’d like to see Clinton gone by the time he gets back from his 12-day trip to Asia, which starts on Friday. “I’d like to see her step down by then,” he said. “That will be a nice welcome back. I’d like to see that headline: ‘Hillary Clinton resigns!!'”
This is a work of satire. It is a fictional news article not meant to be taken seriously. Photos: pd and cc. Creative Commons and public domain. Not necessarily an endorsed use of images.
It’s Plan B time at Time magazine. The editors of the once-important news publication are going back to their discard pile to select their Person of the Year for 2017 now that their first choice, Donald Trump, has spoiled the surprise. “I can’t confirm or deny that we were planning to name Donald Trump Person of the Year but I can say that we never tip our hand about who it’s going to be,” says Nancy Gibbs, editor of the storied magazine that’s now searching for relevance in today’s news-saturated world. Magazine sources say Trump was indeed going to be named Person of the year for the second time in a row, an unusual but not unprecedented editorial decision for the magazine, but no longer. “Our end-of-the year issue, in which we name the year’s most significant person, is one of the few remaining chances we have to be relevant, so of course we would never dilute this moment by naming Trump now that he’s blurted out our plan,” said one editorial source, who asked not to be named so he could speak frankly. More.
In the first charge to come out of Special Counsel Robert Mueller’s investigation into Russian collusion by the Trump campaign, a grand jury has indicted one third of American voters for acts of criminal stupidity. “Evidence collected over the last six months provides clear and convincing evidence that 62.9 million Americans acted with criminal negligence and stupidity in voting for a man who repeatedly demonstrated he is unfit for high office,” the highly anticipated document says. The indictment, which was unsealed in federal court today, says Donald Trump, when he was a candidate for president of the United States, made it clear he neither understood nor respected the institutions of the country he was seeking to lead. “Voting for a candidate who undermined the democratic institutions of the United States violates the duties of Americans to undertake their responsibilities as voters responsibly. More.
The president of the United States, Donald Trump, said on Twitter today “DO SOMETHING!” The president, citing “GUILT by Democrats/Clinton,” pointed to the “Uranium to Russia deal, the 33,000 plus deleted Emails, the Comey fix and so much more.” In other news, Trump’s one-time campaign manager, Paul Manafort, was indicted by a federal grand jury this morning and faces possible criminal charges for money laundering in connection to the investigation by Special Prosecutor Robert Mueller, who is looking into collusion between the Trump campaign and Russia. Manafort business associate Rick Gates was also indicted in connection with the matter. White House spokesperson Sarah Huckabee-Sanders says Trump stands by his call for someone somewhere to do something. “The president is clear that he wants something to be done and he wants it done now,” Huckabee-Sanders said. More.
President Trump criticized former president Barack Obama for not reaching into his own bank account to give a big payout to the families of soldiers who died protecting their country. “Did Obama ever give any money to our precious Gold Star families?” the president asked at a press briefing today. “I really don’t think so. I’ve been told he never did, never sacrificed his money to pay a wife who lost a husband protecting our country.” Trump said he might be the first president to use his own funds to help a grief-stricken family, “It’s one thing, you know, to call and offer condolences to the wife or mother for losing their guy,” he said. “Their guy knew what he signed up for, but, really, who ever signs up to give his life? No one. But it happens. Very sad when it does. Very tragic.” More.
Melania’s Body Double Speaks Out, Says She’s Repeatedly Asked Donald to Provide a Body Double at Night
First Lady Melania Trump’s body double, Nika Horvath, came forward today to confirm her role as a stand-in for the First Lady after her identity was revealed by childhood friends who saw her on TV while Donald Trump spoke about the Iranian nuclear agreement. “It is not my favor to be in public eye in this manner but I cannot hide from the knowledge now and so I speak out,” says Horvath, who, like Melania Trump, was born in Novo Mesto, Slovenia, in 1970. Horvath, a fashion model who has worked mainly in Eastern Europe and parts of Northern Africa, says she and the First Lady became friends in elementary school in part because they looked so much alike. “The people they would comment on our physical characters and they put us together and that was good because we like each other, yes, right from the beginning days,” she said. More.
President Donald Trump said no one respects freedom of the press more than he does but if outlets such as CNN and NBC continue to produce fake news, he’s going to be forced to take action to ensure the news Americans receive is real. “It’s not something I want to do,” he said at a press briefing today. “Believe me. I want our press to be so free and so good. In fact, I think my policy on the press is more fair than Obama’s. I’m not sure what his policy was, but I hear it wasn’t so good, frankly, And mine is better. That’s what I’m told. I’m just saying.” Trump said he’s looking into how to “open up” the press so it’s more accountable to truth. “Are they running fake stories about Russian collusion?” he said. More.
Democratic presidential nominee Hillary Clinton, who won almost 3 million more votes than President-elect Donald Trump but lost in the electoral college, had a secret plan to require a minimum percentage of marriages to be mixed as a way to further diversity goals—a longstanding priority of liberal Democrats. “Just as we require a minimum number of federal contracts to go to minority- and women-owned businesses, we will require a minimum percentage of marriages to e mixed, whether by ethnicity, religion, or gender,” says the secret plan, which was revealed in an email and released on WikiLeaks. The email is thought to be part of the Russian hacking of the Democratic National Committee during the general election. According to the plan, diverse households are more tolerant of diversity goals than non-diverse households, so by requiring a minimum percentage of marriages to be mixed, the plan theorizes, an increasing number of households will be tolerant of diversity. More.
FBI Director James Comey said he’s shocked Republicans are using his vague and cryptic letter to lawmakers about Democratic presidential nominee Hillary Clinton’s emails to fuel their theories of a massive criminal coverup. “I just can’t believe people are seizing on my mysterious, innuendo-laden letter to rile up Republicans who are disposed to mistrust Hillary Clinton,” Comey said in a statement today. “It never occurred to me that I would give fodder to conspiracy theories about Hillary Clinton by saying I was reopening the investigation of her even though I don’t know what’s in the emails we discovered.” Comey, a Republican appointed by President Obama in 2013 in a show of bipartisanship, said he’s “a little shaken up” that Clinton critics are “making a big deal about this” and using it to reinforce their belief Clinton “is a criminal who is trying to become president” by rigging the election. More.
Alex Jones, the far-right conspirator who has used his show, Infowars, to stoke mistrust in Democratic presidential nominee Hillary Clinton, said on his radio show this morning there’s probably nothing of interest in the the emails found on devices belonging to Clinton aide Huma Abedin and her estranged husband, disgraced former congressman Anthony Weiner. “It would be nice to sit here and say these emails will finally explode the presidential campaign of crooked Hillary Clinton, but they probably don’t amount to anything,” said Jones, an influential voice in the so-called “Alt-Right” fringe movement. “I think a lot of the emails are duplicates of what the FBI has already looked at in its investigation of whether Clinton criminally mishandled classified emails while she was secretary of state. More.
A poll conducted shortly after the first presidential debate between Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump at Hofstra University shows voters overwhelmingly believe the Democratic nominee is unqualified for the presidency because her husband, former president Bill Clinton, cheated on her. “How many affairs did Bill Clinton have? Four? Five?” says Greg Newsome, a warehouse supervisor in Harrisburg, Pa. “And she wants to be president? I just don’t see how she can be our leader if her husband had affairs with other women.” Many voters say they’re disappointed Trump held back from bringing up Bill Clinton’s affairs during the first debate. “If there’s a nuclear emergency at 3 a.m., how will Hillary make the right decision if her husband couldn’t keep his pants on when he was younger?” says Ann Burton, a retired school teacher in Springfield, Mo. More.
Hank Galloway, a retired stockroom supervisor who lost about $16,000 when he invested in a Trump resort that was never built, says Democratic presidential nominee Hillary Clinton is a corrupt politician who stole plateware from the White House and should be sent to prison and he wouldn’t mind if she were on the target side of a bullet, either. “That was a good chunk of my life’s savings that I lost in that Trump project,” says Galloway, 69. “If Crooked Hillary doesn’t go to jail instead of the White House, it’s because we’re letting terrorists laugh up their sleeve at our country and giving good-paying jobs to Mexicans who think life in America is one long siesta.” Galloway says he also tried to learn how to become a real estate investor by taking classes at Trump University, but he didn’t learn anything except that he should invest money in Trump projects, which he did. “It’s these regulations that the Socialists in Congress impose on business that’s strangling this country,” he says. More.
Speaker of the House Paul Ryan (R-Wis.) says he has asked Rep. Trey Gowdy (R-S.C) to start the process of impeaching Democratic presidential nominee Hillary Clinton even though she hasn’t won the presidency yet because waiting could enable her to govern should she win more votes in November than her Republican rival Donald Trump. “I acknowledge it’s unprecedented to start impeaching a president before the president is elected, but we live in unprecedented times and we must act to protect the American people before a president commits an impeachable act that we know the president will commit,” says Ryan, who made his announcement at the Capitol this morning. More.