Explosive News: Mueller Indicts One Third of American Voters

Mueller: ‘Clear criminality’

In the first charge to come out of Special Counsel Robert Mueller’s investigation into Russian collusion by the Trump campaign, a grand jury has indicted one third of American voters for acts of “criminal stupidity.”

“Evidence collected over the last six months provides clear and convincing evidence that 62.9 million Americans acted with criminal negligence in voting for a man who repeatedly demonstrated he is unfit for high office,” the highly anticipated document says.

Hearings to begin

The indictment, which was unsealed in federal court today, says Donald Trump, when he was a candidate for president of the United States, made it clear he neither understood nor respected the institutions of the country he was seeking to lead. “Voting for a candidate who undermined the democratic institutions of the United States violates the duties of Americans to undertake their responsibilities as voters responsibly,” the document said.

The indictment went on to call it “treasonous on its face” to vote for a candidate who sought to undermine faith in our democratic institutions by, among other things, refusing to say he would stand by the winner unless he himself was the winner.”

Judge Rupert Walkins of the Federal District Court of the District of Columbia said American voters will be asked to testify in hearings that begin next week.

This is a work of satire. It is a fictional news article not meant to be taken seriously. Photos: pd and cc. Creative Commons and public domain. Not necessarily an endorsed use of images.

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