President Trump criticized former president Barack Obama for not reaching into his own bank account to give a big payout to the families of soldiers who died protecting their country.
“Did Obama ever give any money to our precious Gold Star families?” the president asked at a press briefing today. “I really don’t think so. I’ve been told he never did, never sacrificed his money to pay a wife who lost a husband protecting our country.”
Trump said he might be the first president to use his own funds to help a grief-stricken family, “It’s one thing, you know, to call and offer condolences to the wife or mother for losing their guy,” he said. “Their guy knew what he signed up for, but, really, who ever signs up to give his life? No one. But it happens. Very sad when it does. Very tragic.”
It’s because of the tragedy these families face, the president said, that he offered to write a personal check to the family of the last fallen hero that he called.
“A lot of these people need money,” he said. “We give them a nice funeral. Very nice funeral. The best, in many respects. In the important respects, the dignified respects. But they appreciate the money. They can get themselves something nice. You can get a lot with $25,000. I know President Obama never reached into his pocket and offered these grieving families money.”
The president added that $25,000 isn’t “chump change.”
He said it’s “real money. It might be the most some of these families have ever seen at one time. That can make a difference. Maybe they never had a new car before. Or maybe a really big TV was always a dream.”
The president also said he might increase the amount next time if the death is particularly bad. “All death in war is bad,” he said. “You don’t want to go through it, believe me. I talk to these families. It’s a really hard thing to do and I’ve heard some bad stories, believe me. It’s the hardest part of my job. I might give $30,000 next time. It could be a really bad death. Horrible. That would be worth more money. I think it would be, and I’ll pay it, when it’s appropriate. If I can do it, I will. It’ll be worth it.”
This is a work of satire. It is a fictional news article not meant to be taken seriously. Photos: pd and cc. Creative Commons and public domain. Not necessarily an endorsed use of images.
Melania’s Body Double Speaks Out, Says She’s Repeatedly Asked Donald to Provide a Body Double at Night
First Lady Melania Trump’s body double, Nika Horvath, came forward today to confirm her role as a stand-in for the First Lady after her identity was revealed by childhood friends who saw her on TV while Donald Trump spoke about the Iranian nuclear agreement. “It is not my favor to be in public eye in this manner but I cannot hide from the knowledge now and so I speak out,” says Horvath, who, like Melania Trump, was born in Novo Mesto, Slovenia, in 1970. Horvath, a fashion model who has worked mainly in Eastern Europe and parts of Northern Africa, says she and the First Lady became friends in elementary school in part because they looked so much alike. “The people they would comment on our physical characters and they put us together and that was good because we like each other, yes, right from the beginning days,” she said. More.
California Gov. Jerry Brown issued a desperate plea to Prsident Donald Trump to recognize the scale of emergency the state is facing from devastating fires that are destroying thousands of homes and leaving large swaths of land burnt to a crisp. “Our brave fire fighters and first responders are doing heroic work but they’re struggling to get these fires contained,” Brown said at a hastily called news conference outside of Mendocino. Although federal assistance is flowing in, the pace isn’t what’s needed given the scale of emergency the state faces. “Californians are expecting to see their president here,” Brown said. “They want to see their president here.” Brown said he’d like to see President Trump stand before people in the state who’ve lost everything and throw something at them, whether it’s rolls of paper towels or something else. “All Americans are important, whether they’re Americans in Texas or Florida or in Puerto Rico or California,” Brown said. More.
White nationalist leader Richard Spencer says he believes blacks, Jews, and other Americans of impure bloodlines will leave the United States on their own accord once he and his followers march in front of enough confederate statutes. “What we think is, after a certain point, the approximately 15 million Jews and about 50 million blacks in our country will choose to leave and everyone will be happy,” says Spencer, whose organization is based in Alexandria, Va. Spencer’s organization was involved in the rally by white supremacists, neo-Nazis, and the Ku Klux Klan in Charlottesville, Va., in late August that led to the death of a counter protester. More.
U.S. Attorney General Pete Sessions, a long-time opponent of pot legalization, says it’s “fake news” that he secretly cheers on the wildfires in California that are quickly obliterating the country’s most fertile area for growing marijuana. “I can tell you that such an accusation is not only false but unconscionable if someone has actually made that accusation,” he said in a closed-door hearing with the Senate Judiciary Committee. Although the meeting was private, the conversation was later recounted to reporters by people who were there. Sessions said he doesn’t know the cause of the fires but it shouldn’t be ruled out that God caused them. “Were they acts of God?” he reportedly said in his testimony. “Most fires are.” Although he didn’t make this connection at the hearing, he has said on occasion that God acts in mysterious ways. More.