Trump: Nice Free Press You Have There. Hate to See Anything Happen to It

Had a good run?

President Donald Trump said no one respects freedom of the press more than he does but if outlets such as CNN and NBC continue to produce fake news, he’s going to be forced to take action to ensure the news Americans receive is real.

“It’s not something I want to do,” he said at a press briefing today. “Believe me. I want our press to be so free and so good. In fact, I think my policy on the press is more fair than Obama’s. I’m not sure what his policy was, but I hear it wasn’t so good, frankly, And mine is better. That’s what I’m told. I’m just saying.”

Trump said he’s looking into how to “open up” the press so it’s more accountable to truth. “Are they running fake stories about Russian collusion?” he said. “That could get them in a lot of trouble with the American people, believe me. They’ve never been very good, the press. Now they’re terrible. Americans deserve better.”

Hate to see anything bad happen

Among the actions he’s considering taking are lawsuits to hold news organizations accountable for the accuracy of their claims. “Should a news organization like the failing New York Times be allowed to just say anything they want?” he said. “I don’t think that’s right. I know Obama thought that was okay. I heard that. You would have to ask him, but I heard—lots of people have heard—that Obama thought fake news was okay. Maybe it helped him get elected? I’m not sure. People say that. Good people say that, people who know something about these things.”

Trump said he also might seek a constitutional amendment to hold news organizations accountable in exchange for their freedom. “Right now they have a god-given freedom but that can go away,” he said. “It should go away, frankly. It should have gone away when Obama was president, but I guess it helped him too much for him to want to do that. But we’ll do it. Because right now it’s a mess. We’re going to clean it up. It’ll be so good, too. We’re going to make the press great again. You wait and see.”

This is a work of satire. It is a fictional news article not meant to be taken seriously. Photos: pd, and cc. Creative Commons and public domain. Not necessarily an endorsed use of images.

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