NRA: Take Away Our Guns? What if North Korea Drops the Big One On Us?

The National Rifle Association released a statement today warning lawmakers in Congress not to use the recent mass shooting in Las Vegas as a reason to take drastic action on gun ownership because armed citizens are needed to fight enemies like North Korea and Iran.

“Should the government of Kim Jong Un in North Korea decide to drop a nuclear warhead on the United States or one of its territories, as it has threatened to do, we will need American citizens to take up arms to defend themselves,” The NRA said in its statement.

Wayne LaPierre, executive director of the gun-rights group, said the framers of the U.S. constitution made it a point to protect gun ownership in this country precisely to ensure people are prepared to join their state militia should they be called upon to do so.

Militias were how the American colonies defended themselves before the United States created a standing army.

“North Korea has threatened to detonate a nuclear bomb on American soil,” LaPierre said. “Should they do that, every American man, woman, and child must be ready to protect their country by joining their militia, as called for in the second amendment to the constitution.”

At the NRA’s briefing, LaPierre was asked how these militias would coordinate with the military now that the Unites States has had a standing Army and National Guard units for about 230 years. “Would the militias be part of the Army or the state Guard units?” one person asked.

“I don’t answer ‘gotcha’ questions,” LaPierre said.

About 160,000 Americans were killed by gun violence between 2001 and 2013, according to figures by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Slightly more than 3,000 Americans were killed by foreign terrorists during the same time frame, including those killed in the September 11 attacks.

“Gun control zealots always like to use tragedies like the Las Vegas shooting as an excuse to take away our guns,” LaPierre said. “What we’re saying is, resist the temptation. Our constitution is explicit that we have an unconditional right to our guns because we need to have a citizenry prepared to join their local militia to protect against tyranny. Are you prepared to say ‘Hello, North Korea’ after we say ‘Goodbye, guns?’ I’m not.”

This is a work of satire. It is a fictional news article not meant to be taken seriously. Photos: pd and cc. Creative Commons and public domain. Not necessarily an endorsed use of images.

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