The images of fake destruction wrought by Hurricane Irma throughout the Caribbean are impresssive for their detailed made-upness and carefully crafted untruthfulness, conservative radio commentator Rush Limbaugh said today as he evacuated Florida. He added that the misleadingness that the fake news media has employed to further their agenda of duping the public ought to win them a medal for best fabrications of reality.
“Someone went the extra mile to pretend Barbudos no longer exists as a functioning island of 1,600 people,” Limbaugh said in a temporary location to tape his show, which attracts millions of listeners each week. “How much did leftists propagandists spend to make us believe St. Martins was crushed under hurricane winds of 185 miles per hour? And look, they got the mayor of San Juan, Puerto Rico, to pretend to stay in a stairwell with 500 other people to escape the storm. That was a brilliant act of fiction. I wonder how many Hollywood special effects artists were able to buy a new BMW for their work making us believe Miami is going to be the next target of this exaggerated storm that Democrats hope is the ticket to free money for years to come and more government restrictions on Americans who don’t happen to live on the Democratic coasts?”
Limbaugh earlier this week contended the storm is an exaggeration by the media as part of a secret deal they cut with retailers, who are big advertisers on TV and radio shows. Limbaugh’s theory is that, by exaggerating the intensity of the storm, the media draw people to stores to stock up on food, water, and other provisions, stuffing profit into the pockets of retailers who, in turn, by more ads with the media. The media also gets to play up the climate change theory, a hoax it perpetuates because it promises endless government intervention in the lives of Americans.
Against this backdrop, Limbaugh said, it makes sense that the media would spare no expense to make the destruction of Hurricane Irma seem as real as possible. “The failing leftist media bigwigs went big this time,” he said. “They made sure they included every splintered piece of wood, every overturned car, every downed palm tree lest the American people see through their ruse and decide they’re not going to buy that last can of garbanzo beans, that bottle of water for seven dollars, or that AA battery. Clap, clap. What a show you socialists are putting on in the hopes of getting free billions from FEMA so you can take that next step in turning America further into a nanny state of effeminate political correctness Nazis who can’t do anything for themselves but shiver in the corner until the prime minister of the People’s Republic of America tells them what to do. Very, very impressive. I can’t wait to see the detail you go into to show the level of damage of ‘the storm’ to Miami. Make sure you show plenty of illegal immigrants seeking shelter in stairwells so we can feel sorry for them and ask them if they want amnesty so they can take the coal mining jobs in West Virginia. Thanks, you leftist Nazis, but no thanks.”
Limbaugh said he hopes to air his show at the regular time tomorrow but he’s not sure the transmission tower will still be standing.
This is a work of satire. It is a fictional news article not meant to be taken seriously. Photos: cc. Creative Commons and public domain. Not necessarily an endorsed use of images.
Right-wing radio commentator Rush Limbaugh says he loves Glenn Beck, his fellow conservative talker, but his refusal to back Donald Trump for president is just a total bitch slap. “All the times I was there for him, and this is the thanks I get,” Limbaugh said of Beck on his popular radio show today. “When the lefties were calling him a Nazi, I stood up for him. When they were accusing him of being a deranged conspiracist, I had his back. Now when we’re so close to getting Hillary Clinton put into jail, he goes wobbly and says he can’t support Donald Trump because he’s not a true conservative. Oh, aren’t you just so high minded? Are your hemorrhoids bothering you or is that really a stick up your you-know-what?” More.
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In Reversal, Trump Lauds Media For Diverting Resources, Taking Risks to Attend His Photo Op in Texas
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