Spicer on Paris Pullout: ‘Spite Makes Right’

Revenge: ‘Mm, mm, good’

White House spokesperson Sean Spicer said the Europeans are to blame for President Donald Trump’s decision to pull the United States out of the Paris climate accords because the French, Germans, and others think they’re better than everyone else. “You know, they walk around like they’re so great, so sophisticated,” Spicer said at his briefing today. “They have their fancy suits. They use their big, foreign words. They eat their expensive food with the small portions. Its nauseating.”

Spicer: ‘Take that’

Spicer said the Europeans look to the United States to pay for everything but behind the country’s back they look down on Americans. “You know, they say to us, ‘Protect us and buy our stuff. Buy our cars—which are better than yours, by the way—and watch our bicycle races and tennis matches. You guys with your stupid American football that’s not even football. You’re just so stupid.'”

Spicer said the bottom line is, President Trump is sick and tired of the Europeans being so snooty and self-righteous. “I think what the President is saying is, ‘Up yours, you Germans, you French. Your bicycle races are full of drugs, your tennis matches get rained on even though people have known how to build roofs for centuries, and your soccer players fake injuries to get penalty shots. I’ve had it. You call us fat and boss us around like we’re your senile aunt who has all the money. Well, I’m telling you we’re not going to play your climate-change game any more. Me and Vladimir are going to start our own club and you aren’t invited to be part of it. So there.'”

The President is also giving the finger to Amercans who think they’re sophisticated like the Europeans. “Take that,” Spicer said.

This is a work of satire. It is a fictional news article not meant to be taken seriously. Photos: pd. Creative Commons and public domain. Not necessarily an endorsed use of images.

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