Trump: ‘I’m Going to Preside Over the Greatest Collapse of American Civil Society We’ve Ever Seen, Believe Me’

President Trump

President Donald Trump said today Americans will be more divided, more hostile to one another than the country has ever seen before, even more than during the Civil War, when the North and the South were pitted against one another.

“We’re going to have the biggest, the greatest, the most tremendous breakdown in our shared civil culture than we’ve ever had before, I can guarantee you that,” Trump said in remarks at the White House. “We’re seeing Americans fight each other on airplanes, insult each other in supermarket lines, and refuse to do business with one another. It will be the most fantastic breakdown in our country and it’s going to be so big.”

‘Arrgh!’

Trump said America has long had a history of putting differences aside to work for the common good, but that path has put the country in its current state of mediocrity. “Our bridges are falling down, our airports are third-world,” he said. “We’re a second-rate country. We need to throw millions of people off the health care, out of housing and off the welfare, and put more money into the pockets of people who can buy boats and houses to spur the economy.”

  https://www.amazon.com/How-Fight-Tough-Jack-Dempsey/dp/1581603150/ref=as_li_ss_il?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1496402199&sr=1-6&keywords=how+to+fight&&linkCode=li2&tag=daily031-20&linkId=5927199aa030907c1f7b872c5f8ad1fe Pointing to the hostility that Americans increasingly sense just beneath the surface in day-to-day interactions, Trump said it’s crucial that the government roll back regulations that were put in place since the economic downturn to protect wage-earners from financial fraud. “Millions of people were duped by Wall Street to take out exotic loans on homes they couldn’t afford during the housing boom,” he said. “The result was that we had to bail out the financial institutions after their loans went bad. What we have to do now is get rid of the consumer protections that were put in place because we’re punishing our financial institutions and that’s not right.”

Trump said the big banks, which are sitting on record profits, need to be unshackled from the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau, which was created to prevent consumers from being duped into taking out loans they don’t understand. “Our banks can’t create jobs and wealth if they have to kowtow to Washington rules about so-called protection of consumers,” he said. “We need to get rid of these rules and we will.”

When those and other consumer protections are gone, he said, tempers among Americans should start to flare more, helping to destroy American civil society altogether. “We’re going to hate muslims. They’re going to hate us. Mexicans will be unwelcome. They’ll stop coming here with their dreams. Jews will face antisemitic taunts and threats. They will feel compelled to defend themselves. People will be rushing to the Canadian border. The Canadians will start to hate us. We’ll no longer attract the world’s best and brightest. Our economy will shrink and violence will increase as more people buy more and bigger guns. As opportunity disappears, we’ll be a country that’s a shadow of what we once were. It will be the greatest act of self-destruction of a country that you’ll ever see. It’ll be the biggest. It’ll be the most magnificent. Never before will a country implode the way our’s will. I can guarantee you that.”

This is a work of satire. It is fictional news article not meant to be taken seriously. Photos (some modified): gs, pd (Creative Commons). Not necessarily an endorsed use of images.

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LONDON—After a raucous parliamentary debate, members of the House of Commons voted to allow the https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01JJVGUO0/ref=as_li_ss_il?psc=1&linkCode=li2&tag=daily031-20&linkId=985a5bb11add1dbe57646c63143b78b2combover of Donald Trump into Great Britain, should he be elected president of the United States, but Trump himself was not welcome. “We do not want to hold Donald Trump’s bigotry and nativism against his hair,” said Gavin Blair, an MP from the southwest district of London. Nigel Robinson, an MP from Birmingham, argued that the hair should be banned as well, but his argument left many unconvinced. “I made my case and I lost, and I accept that,” he said. “But I do believe his hair should not be allowed to get off scot free in this debate. My apologies to the Scots, who I hope won’t try to secede again.” More.

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