Third-World Times: Trump Recorded Comey Before He Fired Him!

In a sensational news scoop by Third-World Times, President Donald Trump of the United States secretly recorded his phone conversations with James Comey, his FBI director, before he fired him!

According to the Times, President Trump asked Comey to say whether the FBI was investigating him, and Comey, not knowing he was being recorded, said he wasn’t!

Now, if the FBI indicts Trump on a charge of colluding with the Russians to win the presidency, President Trump can call Comey a liar and ruin his reputation! Trump has boxed Comey in and painted him into a corner!

“He’s a smart cookie, that Trump,” says a Washington insider, according to the Times.

Rosenstein

Meanwhile, Democratic lawmakers in Washington are upset at Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein for drafting the memo that Trump used as the basis for Comey’s firing. Rubenstein, who has enjoyed a bipartisan reputation for integrity, is said to be “livid” at Trump for making him the fall guy, but he can’t say anything in public because he knows Trump will do to him what he did to Comey—that is, paint him into a corner and box him in!

“That Trump is one smart cookie,” says a Washington insider.

In the Rubenstein memo, Comey was faulted for his treatment of 2016 Democratic presidential nominee Hillary Clinton, who was under investigation for using a private email server while she was secretary of state. It was this memo that the Trump administration released as the rationale for the firing even though President Trump had praised Comey’s handling of the Clinton investigation multiple times!!

Trump with Sergey Lavrov of Russia

“Everyone knows it’s really about the Russian probe,” says a Washington insider. “That Trump is one smart cookie.”

Meanwhile, another Washington insider says “the optics were bad” for Trump when he fired Comey because at the time, he was meeting with none other than the Russians! They’re at the center of the FBI investigation into whether the Trump campaign acted illegally during the campaign to damage Clinton, who Russian President Vladimir Putin doesn’t like because she questioned the integrity of Russian elections only a few years before!

When asked to comment, President Putin, dressed to play hockey in Moscow, laughed and made a joke in Russian, which when translated into English wasn’t funny.

Meanwhile, Americans are punching each other on airplanes, insulting each other in grocery store lines, and flipping each other off because it is now revealed that half of America hates and detests the other half!

“if there is one smart cookie in this world, it’s President Trump,” says a Washington insider. “No one knows how to box people in and paint them into a corner better than he does!”

Up next: The world’s most talented and ambitious people are flocking to Canada to make their fortunes by solving problems and creating jobs.

This is a work of satire. It is a fictional news article not meant to be taken seriously. Photos: pd, mm, gs. Creative Commons and public domain. Not necessarily an endorsed use of images.

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