President Donald Trump, his step a little lighter now that the reviews have been good on his decision to bomb a Syrian airbase, says Americans can expect more bombings in the weeks ahead.
“There are going to be so many good opportunities to bomb things,” Trump said in his weekly radio address at the White House today. “We have North Korea. We have Iran. We have some other hot spots we’re looking at but aren’t ready to talk about yet. But they’ll be good bombing targets. A lot of pride among Americans, especially after all those disastrous Obama years when we blew so few things up.”
Trump acknowledged he wasn’t expecting reviews across the political spectrum to be so good in response to his snap decision to send 59 Tomahawk missiles to the Shayrat military airbase in response to the Syrian government’s use of chemical weapons on its own citizens. “Had I known people would love the bombs I wouldn’t have waited even as long as I did,” Trump said.
As it is, analyss say, Trump reacted fairly swiftly in launching the strike from the USS Porter and USS Ross fewer than two days after the chemical attack was reported. “The President was decisive,” said Bill Schaeffer of ABC News. “I think that’s one reason the reaction has been so positive; it made the president look decisive.”
Schaeffer said all the praise heaped on Trump will surely mean more bombings in the weeks ahead, because Trump has made it clear he likes nothing more than to be popular.
“For Trump, bombing things could be his drug of choice going forward,” he said. “Whenever he feels bogged down in Congress, battling the conservatives and the moderates, he’ll just bomb a few things and—bam!—he’s feeling good again as people praise him for his decisive action. If I were a potential bombing target, I’d be a little nervous right now. Because Trump has a hammer and everything’s starting to look like a nail.”
Sean Hannity of Fox News says North Korea is the likeliest next target. “He’s a kook, Kim Jong-Un, and he’s got nuclear ambitions, so he’s the perfect guy to be on the receiving end of Trump’s next bombing run,” he said. “Even liberals won’t give Trump a hard time for taking Kim down a notch, especially if the bombing slows the country’s nuclear goals by a few years. Remember, it’s the People’s Republic of California that’s going to get hit by any North Korean ballistic missiles.”
“I would certainly be very nervous right now if I were Kim Jong-Un,” said Major Garrett, White House correspondent for CBS News. “There’s nothing but upside for Trump in the presidential ratings, so why would he hold back? I think Pyongyang will be the next target.”
This is a work of satire. It is a fictional news article not meant to be taken seriously. Photos: pd. Creative Commons and public domain. Not necessarily an endorsed use of images.
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