Trump’s Syria Policy: ‘Get Emotional and Have No Plan’

Trump: A strategy is in the works

President Donald Trump said he based his decision to bomb the government of Bashar al-Assad in Syria on “raw emotion” and he’s left it to his generals to create a long-term engagement strategy that doesn’t leave Americans more vulnerable to middle east chaos.

“I saw children murdered by their own government and I reacted to that,” Trump said today at the White House. “Now we’re working hard to build a policy around my decision. I think we’ll have a plan soon, maybe even before the weekend.”

Trump said he’d been given policy papers on the situation in Syria, but what matters is what he sees on cable news. “And what I saw horrified me,” said Trump. “I think it’s important for the head of a country to act on the basis of emotions and without a long-term plan.”

Andrew Carter, a retired school principal in Des Moines, Iowa, said Trump is making tough foreign policy decisions the right way. “I think he’s smart to know as a little about a situation as possible and then to react with emotion when something bad happens,” said Carter. “We can figure the policy implications out later. What matters is that you have an emotional reaction and worry about consequences later. Obama never did that and I think that’s why no one trusted him.”

Trump said he’s looking forward to what his generals come up with on his long-term strategy. “I hope my gut reaction to the horrors of Syria doesn’t make things worse for the United States by putting us on a slippery slope to war,” he said. “But that’s why we have these generals. They think about this stuff all day long. I hope they come up with a good plan. I’ve given them a start by reacting emotionally to something. Now they have to shape our policy to fit my emotions. They’re smart people. I think they’re up for it.”

This is a work of satire. It is a fictional news article not meant to be taken seriously. Photos: pd. Creative Commons and public domain. Not necessarily an endorsed use of images.

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