Special to The Guardian of London
WASHINGTON—In a sensational shot across the bow, American President Donald Trump said at the White House today that North Korea’s leader, Kim Jong-un, is a “vindictive, narcissistic sociopath’ who mustn’t be allowed to have nuclear weapons because he’s “impulsive, unstable, and holds a grudge.”
Trump also said he lies “practically every time” he opens his mouth. “What we have in North Korea is a man who only got where he is today because of his father,” Trump told reporters.
Kim is the third leader in the Kim dynasty, which began in 1948 when Kim Il-sung led his country’s effort to overthrow Japanese rule. Kim then elevated his son, Kim Jong-il, to the post of Supreme Leader in 1994, and then Kim Jong-il elevated Kim Jong-un in 2011, when he was 27.
Trump said people are nervous about Kim because he’s “used to always getting what he wants and when he doesn’t, he stops at nothing” to get back at people. “Have you seen how vindictive he is?” Trump said. “If you criticize him, he’ll say all sorts of nasty things about you. That’s why he surrounds himself with people who don’t stand up to him. Everyone’s afraid of him, because they know he’ll try to ruin them if they go against him. So, you see a lot of people praising him and saying what a great negotiator he is or what a great closer he is. Sad! But they know if they don’t show their loyalty, the insults will start, the lies will start.”
Trump also called Kim “vain” and says he has a “stupid” haircut. “He’s got ridiculous hair,” he said. “You’d think someone would say to him, ‘Kim, what’s with the hair?’ But who’s going to talk to him like that? No one wants to be on the receiving end of his rants. He won’t let things like that go.”
Despite his quirks, Kim must be taken seriously, Trump said. “He’s the last person whose finger you want on a nuclear button, but we’ve got to deal with him,” he said. “The world can look on in astonishment that he got to be the leader of his country, but that’s the reality. The world needs to figure out how to deal with a vindictive, amoral narcissistic sociopath who lies without thinking twice about it. The only good thing is, nobody cares that much about North Korea, except for the possibility of nukes. It’s not like the United States, where a vindictive, amoral narcissistic sociopath who lies all the time would be a real problem.”
This is a work of satire. It is a fictional news article not meant to be taken seriously. Photos: pd. Creative Commons and public domain. Not necessarily an endorsed use of images.
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Stung by unfavorable comparisons between his inauguration crowd and that of his predecessor, Barack Obama, President Donald Trump today announced that when he wins reelection in 2020, Americans will be required to attend his 2021 inauguration unless at least two million people attend voluntarily. “What the executive order says is, attendance at the inauguration is voluntary—which is in accordance with our freedoms as a democracy—but that if under two million people attend, people will be required to attend up to the minimum two-million attendance number,” said Sean Spicer, the White House spokesperson. More.
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Vice President Mike Pence, amidst revelations that he used a personal email account to conduct official business when he was governor of Indiana, said what he did was different from Democratic nominee Hillary Clinton’s use of personal email when she was secretary of state. “What Hillary Clinton did was a clear violation of law and a threat to national security while my use of personal email was a smart and necessary action that benefitted the people of Indiana,” Pence said in a statement released today. Pence’s use of a personal AOL email account was revealed yesterday in a report by The Indianapolis Star. More.
President Donald Trump took the opportunity before a friendly audience at the Conservative Political Action (CPAC) Conference in Washington yesterday to blast his presidency as a “fake” occupation of the White House and has vowed to bar himself from government despite the role the Constitution has assigned to the president. “Nobody appreciates the constitutionally protected role of the presidency more than me,” said Trump, who spoke on the second day of the annual event. “That’s why no one is in a better position than me to recognize a fake presidency when there is one.” Trump said no presidency deserves the label “fake” more than his because his victory over Democrat Hillary Clinton in November depended on the FBI, voter suppression, and the Russian government. More.