In Open Letter, Americans Ask Trump to Go Back to Petty Cons and Thievery

Two years into the presidency of Donald Trump, Americans have had enough, according to two-thirds of the country’s 330 million citizens in an open letter published today in The New York Times. “Although you appear to be the lawful president thanks to 60,000 votes you received in half a dozen districts in three states during the 2016 election, your focus on our country’s cultural hot-button issues leaves you too little time for governing,” say the 220 million Americans who signed the letter. “While you provoke us into arguing about birthright citizenship our inadequate infrastructure has worsened, our federal budget deficit has become unsustainable, and the widening gap between the rich and middle class has made it impossible for us to work together with common purpose.” More.

Tragedy Shines Spotlight on Trump’s Insensitivity Advisor

Analysts are giving high marks to a little-known advisor in the White House who President Trump turns to for advice after high-profile tragedies like the shooting that left 11 dead in a Pittsburgh synagogue. “It’s easy to forget the talented people who toil away in near anonymity to make the White House run, so a special shout out to Trey Calhoun for giving the president just the right response to the Pittsburgh shooting and the pipe bomb threats to former president Barack Obama, Democratic presidential nominee Hillary Clinton, and others who’ve criticized Trump in the past couple of years,” says Ray Morgan, Washington political correspondent for Fox News. Calhoun, the Special White House Advisor on Insensitive Remarks, is credited with coming up with President Trump’s comment that an armed guard could have prevented the mass killing at the baby naming ceremony in the Pittsburgh synagogue. More.

WH Officials Alarmed as Two Crazy Men Occupy Oval Office

Two crazy men were found occupying the symbolic seat of American power, the Oval Office, on Thursday, triggering a national security emergency. “What we know is that two men were in the Oval Office at a time when the United States was experiencing a category 4 hurricane on the Gulf Coast,” said John Tempner, chief of the White House Security Branch. “These two men were sitting in front of and behind the historic desk in the Oval Office talking about male energy, Superman, alternate universes, the Yeezy effect, sleep deprivation, dope cars, divine universal words, invisible walls, boring schools, and crazy motherfuckers.” More.

Young Men Vow Not to Go on Solo Dates, Say Second Man Can Help Unsnap Bra

A growing number of young men who vow not to go on solo dates so they won’t get accused of assaulting women say having a second man there will help them keep the woman down while one of them covers her mouth with his hand and tries to remove her clothes. “It’s just too risky for a 25-year-old man like me to go on a solo date when it’s so easy for the woman, 36 years later, to say I tried to assault her,” says Jim Morgan, a systems analyst with a technology firm in Dallas. “By always having another man with me, I can better control my future accuser.” Under the trending movement, a man never goes on a solo date with a woman. That way there are witnesses should a man try to assault a woman or should a woman claim to be the victim of an assault. More.

McConnell: ‘We Will Not Be Stopped From Acting Against the Wishes of the American People’

Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) said efforts by the majority of Americans to stop the confirmation vote of Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh this weekend won’t work. “What I’ve said from the beginning is we will push forward with our vote no matter what most Americans say they want,” McConnell said this morning. McConnell pointed to widespread protests, heckling of lawmakers, and letters by legal, academic, religious, and civic organizations as a clear indication the nominee is unacceptable to most Americans and to key institutions. He said he expects a 51-49 or 51-50 vote (with the vice president acting as tie-breaker) in favor of the nominee to put the matter to rest. More.

Kavanaugh: ‘My Calendar Clearly Shows I Should Be on the Supreme Court By Now’

U.S. Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh says his calendar entry for Sept. 28 says he should have been confirmed as the next associate justice by now and he wants to know what the hell the hold up is. “I’ve made clear in all my testimony up to this point that my calendar is an accurate reflection of my schedule and yet I’m still waiting on the Senate to vote on my confirmation,” Kavanaugh said at a press conference today. “Majority Leader Mitch McConnell has said both privately and in public that the Senate was to have voted on my nomination by now and yet we’re still waiting.” Kavanaugh said there’s nothing on his calendar about waiting this long for his confirmation vote. More.

Kavanaugh, Eager to Clear His Name, Backs FBI Investigation Into Democratic Smears Against Him

U.S. Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh told the Senate Judiciary Committee yesterday he would welcome a fair and impartial investigation by the FBI into allegations that Democrats are using hard-knuckled tactics to derail his nomination. “Without an independent look by the FBI, we will never know with certainty if Democrats are trying to sully my reputation for integrity and decency by saying I tried to remove the clothes of a young lady when we were at a party,” said Kavanaugh, who appeared before the committee to rebut the unfounded, partisan allegations he sexually assaulted women when he was younger. More.

Another 65 Women Come Forward to Say Kavanaugh Didn’t Assault Them

A second group of women has sent a letter to the Senate Judiciary Committee testifying that Brett Kavanaugh, President Trump’s nominee for the U.S. Supreme Court, didn’t assault them. “We have come together to attest to Judge Kavanaugh’s character by sharing with the committee that on no occasion did Judge Kavanaugh assault us in any way, sexual or otherwise.” The women say their experience with Kavanaugh includes interactions with him in a variety of settings, including when he was alone with them, sometimes with alcohol. Kimberly Davidson, a former librarian at Martin Luther King Library in Washington, D.C., where Kavanaugh grew up, said she interacted with Kavanaugh “multiple times” over the years and not once did he act in any way other than what would be expected from a young man in a public library. More.