Americans Eager to Roll Back Environmental Rules; Say Air, Water Too Clean

Pruitt: 'Gonna be great'

Pruitt: ‘Gonna be great’

Americans say their air and water quality is too good and they want Congress and the administration of Donald Trump to roll back protections as fast as possible.

“While people in China and India get to breathe air full of particulate matter and drink water clouded with heavy metals and a variety of carcinogens, we in America are falling behind,” says one American who responded to a survey conducted by the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency.

The survey was conducted in early February among a cross section of Americans in different parts of the country.

Mask envy

Mask envy

In the findings, 70 percent said the federal government isn’t doing enough to ensure the country’s environmental quality is as poor as other countries where economies are growing quickly. “Why should China be allowed to grow its economy by taking manufacturing work that destroys native plants, chokes waterways with industrial waste, and worsens respiratory disorders by pumping particulate matter into the air we breathe?” one respondent said in a comment.

pollAmong Americans who say the United States puts too much emphasis on environmental quality, 91 percent said rules should be rescinded in air quality first, water quality second, and surface quality third. “It’s far more important to make our air unhealthful than our water,” said one respondent. “People can always wear surgical or other masks over their mouths if air quality gets bad, but degraded water quality can require people to purchase water filtration systems, which can be expensive.”

In another finding, 70 percent of Americans said they wouldn’t mind having a factory behind their house, especially if it led to discharge of chemical waste in their drinking water. “We killed off our native amphibian population years ago,” one respondent said. “If an occasional frog shows up with five legs or two heads, I wouldn’t worry about it too much.”

Scott Pruitt, the recently confirmed administrator of the Environmental Protection Agency, said the findings make clear the Trump administration can’t move quickly enough when it comes to making life in the United States a living hell. “We’ve been trying to preserve our air and water for too long,” he said at a press conference announcing the findings. “It’s time to put Americans back to work and into the hospital with chronic health ailments, especially now that we’ll be taking away their health insurance. It’s a win-win for us as we make our country great again.”

This is a work of satire. It is a fictional news article not meant to be taken seriously. Photo: gs, apic (Creative Commons). Not necessarily an endorsed use of image.

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