President Donald Trump announced that John Miller, his spokesperson going back to his days as a New York real estate developer, is replacing Sean Spicer as press secretary.
“I’ve known John all my life and no one has my back the way he does,” Trump told reporters at the announcement today. “When John talks, you know what he says is coming directly from me. He knows me like no one else.”
MIller, 70, who also goes by the name John Barron or John Baron, served as spokesperson for Trump in the 1980s and 1990s, when Trump was trying to make a name for himself as both an astute businessman and a man-about-town.
“It’s a good choice,” says Sue Carswell, a reporter for People magazine. “I was reporting on Trump quite a bit when he was dating Marla Maples back in the early 1990s and John Miller really knew what was going on in Trump’s life and was willing to give detailed accounts of what Trump was thinking.”
Linda Stasi, a columnist for the New York Daily News, says she spoke with Miller several times and with John Barron a couple of times in the 1990s and said he was always unusually knowledgeable about Trump’s thinking. “He’s totally inside his brain,” says Stasi. “I would call him up quite a bit at night to find out the latest on Marla or Ivana or Carla Bruni [the model now married to former French President Nicolas Sarkozy that Trump dated briefly] and he would know surprisingly intimate details of what Trump was doing with them. But he would be grumpy if I called him too late. He likes to go to bed early.”
At the announcement, Miller said “there’s no daylight” between him and Trump. “If I say it, it’s as good as Trump saying it,” he said. “We really do speak with one voice.”
Trump said Sean Spicer, the outgoing press secretary, will stay on as an advisor. “I appreciate the effort Sean made but he doesn’t know me as well as John Miller does,” Trump said. “That’s not Sean’s fault.”
Trump added that Sean’s presentation skills, which led him to be skewered on Saturday Night Live by Melissa McCarthy, is his fault. “He owns that one,” Trump said.
This is a work of satire. It is fictional news article not meant to be taken seriously. Photo: mv (Creative Commons). Not necessarily an endorsed use of image.
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