Sen. Democrats Introduce Bill Requiring Stephen Bannon to Fight in Any War He Starts

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Bannon: Combat leader?

Saying war with China or any other country will require the combat leadership of a certain seven-year Navy veteran, Senate Democrats this morning introduced the “Stephen K. Bannon Combat Leadership Act of 2017.”

Under the bill, Stephen K, Bannon, a top advisor to President Donald Trump and an acknowledged “lover of war,” will have to “lead troops into battle in the first, second, and third waves of attack against enemies of the United States in any theater of war of his devising.”

The legislation names “the South China Sea” as a potential “theater of war” but also says other areas of the world would qualify as long as “the lives of U.S. troops are at stake as a result of war started by Stephen K. Bannon.”

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Schemer: ‘Only makes sense’

Bannon is the former publisher of the ultra-conservative Breitbart News, which Bannon has described as a home for the alt-Right, a name given to the community of white supremicists who have grown ascendant alongside the political rise of Trump.https://www.amazon.com/Campaign-Adjustable-Unisex-AMERICA-CAMOUFLAGE/dp/B01GSCD28A/ref=as_li_ss_il?s=apparel&ie=UTF8&qid=1486199733&sr=1-1&nodeID=7147440011&keywords=camo+trump&linkCode=li2&tag=daily031-20&linkId=338f981f80bc092a9a8cbb49264bc8dc

In a statement by Senate Minority Leader Charles Schumer (D-N.Y.), Bannon’s “expertise in military strategy, both ancient and modern, and his preoccupation with involving the United States in war, make him the perfect person to carry a gun into battle, on the front lines, before every other soldier, with only his Kevlar vest and helmet to protect him, whether against a battalion of Chinese soldiers, a contingent of Iranian special forces, or a division of Australian SEALS. For that reason, he will be required to lead the battle charge in any war he starts under this legislation.”

Money concerns

Republicans: Money concerns

Two Republican senators, John McCain (Ariz.) and Lindsey Graham (S.C.), have said they support the concept of the legislation but they need to look more closely at the details before they officially sign onto the bill.

“We think there’s merit in having Bannon lead the battle charge in any war he starts, although we’re not sure he should be entitled to a vest and helmet,” the senators said in a joint statement. “That is why we need to look at this more closely. Vests and helmets are expensive, and we’re not sure they should be wasted on the first person who goes into battle. Guns and bullets are also expensive, and whether he should be allowed to possess those is another consideration. As you can see, there are many details we must be comfortable with before we can support this bill.”

This is a work of satire. It is fictional news article not meant to be taken seriously. Photos (some modified): tnn, pd (Creative Commons). Not necessarily an endorsed use of images.

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