Author Q&A: When Your President Is a Psychopath

am1It’s been a busy six months for Arthur Mann, whose book, When Your President is a Psychopath (Knolle, 2016), unexpectedly rocketed to the top of the New York Times bestseller list. We caught up with Mann, a professor of psychology at MIT, while he was between flights at LaGuardia Airport in New York City. To recap our conversation, Mann said there’s an easy way to cope with Donald Trump’s presidency, but it’s probably not what you think.

The Nattering Nabobs: You say Donald Trump shows little signs of empathy and remorse, and he has bold, disinhibited, egotistical traits, which would qualify him as a psychopath. We’re screwed, aren’t we?

Arthur Mann: Well, he’s not a complete psychopath. He’s what psychologists call a subclinical case, meaning he has just enough empathy and other positive behavioral traits that he won’t take us over the cliff. In other words, he’ll grab your genitals but he won’t rape you.

TNN: Ah, that’s reassuring to hear. Does that mean when he grabs our genitals we should pretend it’s not happening until someone sexier comes along?

Mann: As a coping strategy, that would work.

TNN: So, what is the main coping strategy we should take?

Mann: Let’s start with what you shouldn’t do. You shouldn’t take a hammer to your head, chew your arm off, or thrust a dagger into your heart when he opens his mouth.

TNN: You’re not leaving us many options. What should we do?

Mann: You should always bring to mind an image of Ted Cruz and remind yourself that he could have been president.

TNN: Wow, that is powerful stuff. No wonder your book is doing so well.

Mann: You’re welcome.

Mann’s book is sold out on Amazon. But here’s another book you might be interested in.

This is a work of satire. It is fictional news article not meant to be taken seriously. Photos (some modified): gs (Creative Commons). Not necessarily an endorsed use of images.

More stories:

Pervert-Americans Find a Champion in Donald Trump

loomWhether he wins or loses in November, Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump has one constituency that will always stand by his side: America’s perverts, arguably the most maligned group of people in the country. “No one has ever spoken to our issues, but now we have a candidate who understands us and who clearly will be a force for breaking down the barriers that stand between us and the rest of the country,” says Andy P., a pervert who asked that his full name not be used to protect his privacy. Andy P, and others like him say no politician has ever before been sympathetic to people who lurk in the shadows, peep into windows, rub against women on subways, and grab their p*****s without their consent. More.

Diary: Trump Decided at 24 to Live His Life as Performance Art

md In a major discovery, a diary kept by Donald Trump when he was a young man reveals that the next president of the United States pledged at age 24 to live his life as performance art. “Everything I do, I will do as if the world is watching me at all times and in all places,” Trump writes in a diary entry in 1970. “If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound? No!!” Later in the same entry, dated March 23, Trump contends he makes no sound in the world if no on is there to hear it. “What’s the point of doing anything if no one sees you do it?” he writes. “I could make all the money in the world, but if I’m not in The New York Times or on NBC TV, who cares? People who live their lives in obscurity, outside the public eye, live sad, pathetic lives. That will not be me!!” More.

Book Review: How to Play Trump Like a Fiddle: A Guide for Foreign Leaders

commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:IPhone_3GS_launch_party_in_Tokyo_Japan_2.jpgJohn Forrester made his name picking apart the weaknesses of George W. Bush and now he has put our next president, Donald Trump, under his knife with his new book, How to Play Trump Like a Fiddle: A Guide for Foreign Leaders. The book immediately rose to the top of The New York Times bestseller list, with rave reviews like this one, from Andrew McNair of The New Yorker: “Forrester expertly walks prime ministers, presidents, chancellors, and business leaders through the three basic steps that will all but guarantee you will get what you want from Donald Trump while making him think he made a good deal.” More.

World’s Most Publicity-Hungry Man Reaches Saturation Point as Oval Office Nears

gs

President-elect Donald Trump, the most publicity-hungry human being to walk the earth, said today he’s had enough publicity and would prefer he not be thought or talked about for a few minutes. “I’ve achieved what no one has ever achieved,” said Trump, speaking at Trump Tower, the most famous building on 5th Avenue, the most famous street in New York City, the most famous city in the world. “I am in the thoughts of every human being on earth, every moment of every day, and, frankly, it’s a bit much.” Trump said he can’t turn on the TV or radio, or browse the Internet without everything at each moment being about him. “I never thought I would say this, but I wouldn’t mind someone else occupying people’s thoughts and conversations for a while. I could use a breather.” More.

‘It’d Be Nice If People Would Pay Their Taxes So We Can Fix Our Third-World Infrastructure’

t1

Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump lashed out at cheats who don’t pay their taxes because they’re robbing the United States of the means to repair its crumbling infrastructure. “Our airports, they’re like third-world airports,” he said at at a rally in Altoona, Pa., this morning. “You go to Dubai, you go to China, and they have these sparkling new airports. They’re beautiful. Then you go to Newark and you’re like in a third-world country. But we can’t fix anything because no one pays their taxes. You have tax dodgers using the loopholes. We’ve got to run our country like a business. People need to pay their taxes because we have to pay for our military. We have to fix our airports. How can we do any of these things if we don’t have any money?” Trump said people who hire teams of lawyers and accountants to dig up loopholes are not good Americans.”You’ve got these rich guys paying thousands of dollars to avoid paying taxes, so who ends up paying the taxes? The little guy. More.

Russia Looking For Ideas On Who to Hack Next

fbThe Democratic National Committee has been hacked. Colin Powell has been hacked. The NSA has been hacked. The American Olympic Committee has been hacked. So many opportunities. So many directions. When you can get into any email you want, whose email do you get into next? That’s the question Russia’s state-supported hackers have been asking themselves and now they want to get your input. In a first for Russia’s hackers, they’ve put out a call on their Facebook page to get ideas from you on whose lives they should turn upside down next. “Tom Brady? Beyonce? Barbra Streisand? It’s just so hard to know,” said the group, which calls itself Анонимный, or “anonymous” in Russian. “It’s impossible to keep up with who’s trending. “Drake is big. But you already know what his emails are going to say. There has to be a surprise factor.” More.

Putin: ‘Authoritarianism is the Secret to My Success’

kre

Russian president Vladimir Putin says he’s enjoying the positive coverage he’s getting from the endorsement of Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump but he doesn’t want to give the impression his success is all about his leadership skills; it helps to be an authoritarian, he says. Putin says he could never work his will if he couldn’t jail critics or have them killed, which takes care of a lot of opposition. He also takes advantage of a rubber-stamp legislative body and gets to set the terms of his election, which is better than running campaign ads, even if they’re good ones. “Truth be told, it helps to do what you want without checks and balances,” he says. “Sure, I’m a good leader. I’m strong. But at the end of the day, I never lose sight of the real source of my strength: my authoritarianism.” More.

Saddam Hussein: ‘Hah! I Had a 111% Approval Rating!’

pd

Former Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein came back from the dead today to throw some shade at Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump for praising the 82 percent approval rating of Russian president Vlaidmir Putin. “Eighty-two percent! I snort at that!” said Hussein, who was executed by the Federal Government of Iraq in 2006, when he was 69. “My Revolutionary Command Council would have had a good laugh if I had run my country as a strongman with only an 82 percent approval, I can tell you that, my friend!” Hussein said a strong leader should never have anything under 100 percent approval, and he pointed to his impressive 111 percent approval rating when he asked his people in a poll what they thought of his job performance in 2003, shortly before an international coalition of forces invaded his country and forced him into hiding. “I am not a sentimental person, but I shed a tear at the love of my people on that day,” said Hussein. More.

Trump Says His Dictatorship Will Be Benevolent

gs

Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump acknowledged he plans to govern as a dictator but he wanted to reassure voters that he would make decisions in the interests of the country. “When I curb the press, it wont be to hurt America, it will be to make America stronger,” he said. “If I let the press criticize everything I do—and they will, because they’re totally dishonest—I can’t get anything done. I want to get things done, so I have to curb the press. But we’ll still have some free press. We’ll keep the good ones. It won’t be entirely gone.” Trump promised to take a firmer hand on how cases get settled in the courts. “Right now our courts are a disaster,” he said. “We have cases backlogged. Why do we use juries as much as we do? Especially if the person is guilty. Let’s get these guilty criminals directly into jail and save he courts for when we really need them.” More.

Trump Says He’ll Let Mexican First Lady Angélica Rivera Into U.S.

commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Angelica_Rivera.jpgRepublican presidential nominee Donald Trump, fresh from his dramatic trip to Mexico to discuss immigration policy, said he would allow Angélica Rivera, the wife of Mexican president Enrique Peña Nieto, into the country if she wants to come. “We would make an exception for her, absolutely, and I told her that when I was in Mexico,” Trump said at a campaign stop in Albuquerque, N.M. “I told her I’ll have a car ready for her anytime she wants to come. She has my number. She said she’d like to see Trump Tower. I said I’d like to show it to her.” Rivera, 47, an actress and model before she became Mexico’s First Lady, was born in Mexico City. She has been married to Peña Nieto since 2010. Trump’s trip to Mexico has generated a considerable amount of analysis. In Mexico, he appeared to take a conciliatory approach to the country, but that appeared to change in a major address he gave in Phoenix that night. More.

Trump: People Say North Korea Is a Hoax, Moon Landing Was Faked, Ronald Reagan Was Murdered

mn

SACRAMENTO, Calif.—Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump said today he believes the moon landing in 1969 was real but “many people” believe the whole thing was orchestrated by the federal government to impress the world and scare the Soviets. “I’m not saying I believe that, but many people have questions about it,” Trump said at a campaign appearance here. “There are people who know about these things who say they saw the interior of a warehouse in Los Angeles converted to look like the surface of the moon, complete with fine dust and craters and the whole thing. Lot of tinfoil lying around. More.

ne2

 

Advertisements