World’s Most Publicity-Hungry Man Reaches Saturation Point as Oval Office Nears

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Trump: ‘Kinda beat’

President-elect Donald Trump, the most publicity-hungry human being to walk the earth, said today he’s had enough publicity and would prefer he not be thought or talked about for a few minutes. “I’ve achieved what no one has ever achieved,” said Trump, speaking at Trump Tower, the most famous building on 5th Avenue, the most famous street in New York City, the most famous city in the world. “I am in the thoughts of every human being on earth, every moment of every day, and, frankly, it’s a bit much.”

https://www.amazon.com/Trump-Card-Playing-Work-Life/dp/1439140154/ref=as_li_ss_il?ie=UTF8&qid=1481895459&sr=8-12&keywords=ivanka+trump&linkCode=li2&tag=daily031-20&linkId=91b2ff3cc08516911477bc839ad1ef9dTrump said he can’t turn on the TV or radio, or browse the Internet without everything at each moment being about him. “I never thought I would say this, but I wouldn’t mind someone else occupying people’s thoughts and conversations for a while. I could use a breather.”

Trump said he’s a fantastic” subject of conversation, “the best thing” for people to think about, but he needs a break. To ensure he gets one, he said, he will come after any TV or radio show, newspaper or magazine, or online news publication that makes every story of every day about him. “Find someone else to talk about,” he said. “Tom Brady is also fantastic. He’s winning, he’s good looking, his wife is a total babe. Talk about him for a while. If he wins the Super Bowl, I’m going to have him at the White House. Then you can talk about me again. But talk about him for now. I need to recharge my greatness batteries.”

This is a work of satire. It is fictional news article not meant to be taken seriously. Photos (some modified): gs (Creative Commons). Not necessarily an endorsed use of images.

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