Americans Confident as Purges, Back-biting Characterize Trump Transition

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Reassured

Americans across the country expressed confidence as reports leaked out that the process put into place by President-elect Donald Trump for moving from campaigning to governing is riven by purges and back-biting.

“It gives me great peace of mind to see that there’s a great deal of infighting going on as our president-elect tries to staff the offices that will keep us safe and prevent the world from descending into chaos,” says Janice Meanes, a homemaker in Lawrence, Kans.

Meanes says she voted for Trump because she wanted a law-and-order president, and to hear that ultra-right-wing ideologues are trying to push out people who have a reputation for keeping a cool head in crises gives her hope for the future.

“I was afraid Trump would go soft and put in place people who know how to do things calmly and rationally rather than firebrands who don’t think about the consequences of their actions,” she says.

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Was worried

Jeff Snyder, a truck mechanic in La Croix, Wis., says he takes a lot of comfort in hearing that people who know something about defense and foreign policy are being stabbed in the back to make way for extremists who know nothing about relationships between countries and in fact probably can’t identify 90 percent of the world’s countries on a map.
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“We didn’t vote to put cool heads in sensitive positions,” Snyder says. “If we wanted cool heads in sensitive positions, we’d export our official’s from France or the European Union bureaucracy in Brussels. But that’s not what we want. We want people who freak out our allies so we can create chaos in the world and ultimately weaken our country as China, Russia, North Korea, and other states hostile to the West gain leverage over us and our allies.”

Snyder says he was worried at first Trump would surround himself with competent professionals, particularly national security issues, but after he heard about the behind-the-scenes infighting between ideologues and people who manage government operations for a living, he felt reassured he had made the right choice in voting for Trump. “God forbid we should exert a positive influence on the world,” he says. “If we’re not more hated and reviled four years from now by people of all political stripes around the world, than we’ve done something horribly wrong.”

This is a work of satire. It is fictional news article not meant to be taken seriously. Photo: ka, am (Creative Commons). Not necessarily an endorsed use of images.

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