Election Results Just Starting Point for Negotiations, Trump Says

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Ace in the hole?

Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump says he can’t promise to accept the outcome of the election ahead of time because doing so will weaken his negotiating hand should he come up short on November 8. “Any good businessman will tell you not to give away your strongest hand if you want to win a negotiation,”Trump said at a rally today in Altoona, Pa. “My strongest hand is the threat of violence and mayhem from my supporters should I not win at the polls. It’s very important I keep that ace up my sleeve, because without it, there’s nothing to negotiate.”

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‘Yarrrg!’

Trump said anything can be negotiated, even elections. “The will of the people sounds high and mighty, but you can’t put together a deal if you say upfront you’ll abide by whatever voters want,” he said. “Think about it. If you say you’ll accept the election outcome, then what’s left to negotiate if you come up short? Nothing. That’s why I have to keep the country in suspense. Without the threat of violence and mayhem from my supporters I’ve got nothing to use as leverage after the votes are counted. As long as I have the threat of violence and mayhem in my pocket, I’ve got something to negotiate.”

Richard Carter, an election law specialist who served as an advisor during the Florida vote recount in the 2004 election between George W Bush and Al Gore, said Trump is playing a smart game. “If everyone knows he’s going to concede should he get fewer votes than his opponent, what leverage does he have after the election? None,” he said. https://www.amazon.com/Trump-Art-Deal-Donald-J/dp/0399594493/ref=as_li_ss_il?ie=UTF8&qid=1477134509&sr=8-1-fkmr0&keywords=trump+the+art+of+yje+deal&linkCode=li2&tag=daily031-20&linkId=0f84d2a415dff71780bb89b29e8010b8“Now he’s got leverage. It’s a standard tactic in business negotiations. Remember, this is he guy whose name is on the cover of The Art of the Deal.”

Trump says he thinks he can make a deal in which he gets the presidency, even if he loses, because his followers will use their guns to push the country into chaos. “Ordinary Americans will become fearful, investors will pull their capital out of the country, the value of the dollar will plummet, the Chinese yuan will become the world’s reserve currency, a global recession will follow, we’ll lose millions of jobs, more chaos will ensue, Russia, Iran, and North Korea will exploit the vacuum left by the loss of American stability, and war will break out in multiple flash points around the globe,” he said. “As the very survivability of the planet is questioned, I will march into the White House with the help of my millions of followers and assume the presidency. That, my friends, is the art of the deal.”

This is a work of satire. It is fictional news article not meant to be taken seriously. Photos (some modified): pd (Creative Commons). Not necessarily an endorsed use of images.

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