Kaine: ‘Yappiness in the Pursuit of Truth is No Vice’

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Getting in a yap

Democratic vice presidential nominee Tim Kaine defended the yappy dog approach he took during his live TV debate this week with Mike Pence, his Republican counterpart from Indiana, by saying it was a necessary tactic to keep the focus on the lies of Donald Trump.

“Would I have preferred to come across as a Great Dane or a German Shepherd? Of course,” he said after the debate Tuesday night at Longwood University in Virginia. “But the moment didn’t call for stature, for dignity. The moment called for irritation, for annoyance. So I did what I had to do and I’m proud of the yips I got in. I’m proud of the yaps I got in. And I will go on yipping and yapping until people know the truth about Donald Trump.”

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Waiting through a yip

Pence, who Trump tapped to be a steadying presence as his running mate, said he worked hard to remain unflappable during the most yappable moments. “There were times I wanted to bite Tim on the nose, I will admit to that,” he said. “But I understood he needed to get his yips in. He needed to get his yaps in. So, I stayed calm and defended Donald Trump as I was brought on board to do.”

Kaine said he would be irritating tomorrow if that’s what it takes to expose the truth about Donald Trump, no matter what people say about him. “Do I like irritating people?” he asked. “Of course not. I would much prefer to reassure people with my dignity and poise. But I will proudly keep on annoying people and irritating them if that’s what I have to do, because I know I have a role to play and that does not include maintaining my dignity.”

Pence said he felt bad for Kaine at times during the debate, but he also admired his willingness to make himself unlikable on behalf of his running mate, Hillary Clinton. “I know Tim Kaine and I know he’s a very likable person,” he said. “The fact that he was willing to make himself so unlikable to help get Hillary elected and defeat Donald Trump says a lot about his professionalism. Before this election is over, someone will threaten him with a rolled up newspaper, but I know his heart is in the right place.”

The two politicians won’t have to debate each other again before the election.

This is a work of satire. It is fictional news article not meant to be taken seriously. Photos (some modified): ss (Creative Commons). Not necessarily an endorsed use of images.

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