5 Other Things Trump Chose Not to Say During First Debate

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‘I’m above that’

Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump said he took the high road by not saying anything about Bill Clinton’s infidelities during his first debate with Hillary Clinton at Hofstra University.

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Got off easy

He elected to hold back in part because Chelsea Clinton, the daughter of Bill and Hillary Clinton, was in the audience, he said.

Here are five other things he could have said but didn’t because he elected to take the high road:

  1. Unlike Ivanka, Chelsea is not a daughter he would want to date. She simply doesn’t have it in the looks department. Figure’s not as good. Face isn’t as pretty. No, he would definitely not take her out on a date.
  2. Bill’s hair looks like it’s pasted on. Always has, in fact.
  3. Hillary’s been packing on the pounds since she left the White House in 2001. How many pantsuits has she had to donate to the Salvation Army to make room in her closet for the larger size she now wears?
  4. The Clinton Foundation has never paid federal income taxes. Good gig, that Sec. 501(c)(3) tax exempt status, isn’t it?
  5. Melania never makes him sleep on the couch. He knows one former president who can’t say the same thing about his wife. Sad.
This is a work of satire. It is fictional news article not meant to be taken seriously. Photos (some modified): pd (Creative Commons). Not necessarily an endorsed use of images.

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