‘Nice Pantsuit!’ Trump Tells Angela Merkel in Late-Night Tweetstorm

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Nice pantsuit

Not waiting to get into the White House to exercise his unique brand of Twitter diplomacy, Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump late last night wondered aloud if Germany’s chancellor, Angela Merkel, and his Democratic opponent, Hillary Clinton, get their pantsuit ideas from the same JC Penney catalog. “I notice it’s not a catalogue Melania has laying around on her nightstand,” he said. “Maybe there’s a reason for that. Does Victoria Secret make sizes big enough for them? I doubt it!”

He also called North Korea’s launch of a ballistic missile from a submarine two weeks ago a “pathetic” attempt to be relevant in the global arena and said it makes the country’s leader, Kim Jong-un, look “small and sad.”

Trump also revisited one of his favorite topics about China—its currency manipulation—by condemning the International Monetary Fund for adding the Yuan to its list of reserve currencies. “Just like it manipulates its currency, China has manipulated the losers at the IMF,” he said. “Xi Jinping won’t be popping the champaign after my 40% tariff on his cheating country’s goods!” Xi Jinping is China’s president.
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Alarmed by the late-night tweetstorm, Hillary Clinton, as well as national security experts around the globe, condemned the tweets as “unprecedented” and “dangerous” and called on Trump to retract the statements immediately. “Insulting world leaders, regardless of how their interests align with those of the United States, is not only inappropriate coming from a major party nominee for the presidency but also reckless and dangerous,” said Clinton in a statement. “I am calling on Trump to withdraw his candidacy immediately to allow a minimally qualified candidate to take his place.”

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01JCUNNA2/ref=as_li_ss_il?th=1&linkCode=li2&tag=mediab-20&linkId=a4e2dcac10efe7bdf3e696b27253a0c5Andrew Black, a national security expert at Columbia University, said such tweets, coming from a president, could put the United States on the brink of war with multiple countries at once. “This is a wake-up call that we cannot entrust our highest office to someone who would give such little thought to the national security implications of his musings while wandering around late at night in his bathrobe,” he said.

As if to illustrate the point, an official statement from the government in Pyongyang said it took Trump’s insult to its leader, Kim Jong-un, as an incitement to war and was speeding its testing of long-range ballistic missiles. “We are taking all preemptive measures to defend against the increasing threat of nuclear war from the U.S.,” the government said.

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Take Trump for ride?

In response to the criticism of his tweets, Trump said the real risk is Hillary Clinton’s untrustworthiness and her support for trade deals that “kill” American businesses. “Let’s see what’s in the emails,” he said. “I think what we’ll find will be very interesting. An unbelievable number of our jobs are going to China. She had plenty of time to stop them. But she didn’t!”

He also said Clinton has done nothing to stop North Korea’s missile program. “She had the stamina to visit 112 countries while she was secretary of state but apparently she couldn’t find energy to go to North Korea,” he said. “Not only am I going to North Korea when I’m president; I’m going to have Xi Jinping fly me there in his personal plane. I’ve seen his plane. It’s not as nice as mine. But I’ll take the ride. I hear the airports in North Korea are terrible. The worst. I don’t want to risk my plane! I already do that whenever I fly into Newark!”

This is a work of satire. It is fictional news article not meant to be taken seriously. Photos (some modified): pd (Creative Commons). Not necessarily an endorsed use of images.

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