House Republicans, Looking to Get ‘Jump Start,’ Begin Impeachment of Hillary Clinton

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Ryan: Preemption needed

Speaker of the House Paul Ryan (R-Wis.) said he has asked Rep. Trey Gowdy (R-S.C) to start the process of impeaching Democratic presidential nominee Hillary Clinton even though she hasn’t won the presidency yet because waiting could enable her to govern should she win more votes in November than her Republican rival Donald Trump.

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Justice for the criminal?

“I acknowledge it’s unprecedented to start impeaching a president before the president is elected, but we live in unprecedented times and we must act to protect the American people before a president commits an impeachable act that we know the president will commit,” said Ryan, who made his announcement at the Capitol this morning.

Ryan said he can’t predict what impeachable act Clinton will commit but, like the impeachable acts she has already committed, he expects it to be a big one. “Will she have someone murdered, like she did Vince Foster?” he said. “We just don’t know.”

Ryan cited a number of possibilities, including allowing American officials to be killed in foreign unrest, having her presidential email sent to a private server in the White House rather than through a government server, or giving paid speeches to interest groups, like bankers, while she’s president.

Already, Ryan said, she’s given every indication she will be an impeachable president. Among other things, she’s been running for office without promising tax cuts for the wealthy or eliminating regulatory oversight of American businesses. She has also said she will take away the right to own guns, doesn’t ask what Jesus would do before she proposes a policy, and has said she wants to help low-income Americans get an education, build their job skills, and earn a livable wage.

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Gowdy: Fair about her guilt

Ryan also said she would break the country’s tradition, going back more than a year, of having an eight-member Supreme Court. “Our highest court is an eight-person court,” Ryan says. “That’s been our tradition for months—more than a year. She would break that on the first day and nominate a ninth member to the court.”

Gowdy, chair of an investigative subcommittee that looked at Clinton’s role in the deaths of four Americans in Benghazi, Libya, while she was secretary of state, said the process of impeaching Clinton will be fair but firm.

“Our Founding Fathers took the powers of impeachment seriously,” he said. “For that reason, there are high bars for us to clear before we can vote on whether she has acted to dishonor the office of the presidency. It is our promise to the American people to be fair and impartial in our judgment of the illegal acts she has already committed and will commit in the months ahead.”

Clinton, who has a reputation for lying, said she is not guilty.

This is a work of satire. It is fictional news article not meant to be taken seriously. Photos (some modified): pd (Creative Commons). Not necessarily an endorsed use of images.

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Election Results Just Starting Point For Negotiations, Trump Says

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Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump says he can’t promise to accept the outcome of the election ahead of time because doing so will weaken his negotiating hand should he come up short on November 8. “Any good businessman will tell you not to give away your strongest hand if you want to win a negotiation,”Trump said at a rally today in Altoona, Pa. “My strongest hand is the threat of violence and mayhem from my supporters should I not win at the polls. It’s very important I keep that ace up my sleeve, because without it, there’s nothing to negotiate.” Trump said anything can be negotiated, even elections. “The will of the people sounds high and mighty, but you can’t put together a deal if you say upfront you’ll abide by whatever voters want,” he said. “Think about it. If you say you’ll accept the election outcome, then what’s left to negotiate if you come up short? Nothing. That’s why I have to keep the country in suspense. Without the threat of violence and mayhem from my supporters I’ve got nothing to use as leverage after the votes are counted.” More.

Voter, His Money Lost to a Trump Scam, Says Crooked Hillary Should Go to Prison

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Hank Galloway, a retired stockroom supervisor who lost about $16,000 when he invested in a Trump resort that was never built, says Democratic presidential nominee Hillary Clinton is a corrupt politician who stole plateware from the White House and should be sent to prison and he wouldn’t mind if she were on the target side of a bullet, either. “That was a good chunk of my life’s savings that I lost in that Trump project,” says Galloway, 69. “If Crooked Hillary doesn’t go to jail instead of the White House, it’s because we’re letting terrorists laugh up their sleeve at our country and giving good-paying jobs to Mexicans who think life in America is one long siesta.” Galloway says he also tried to learn how to become a real estate investor by taking classes at Trump University, but he didn’t learn anything except that he should invest money in Trump projects, which he did. “It’s these regulations that the Socialists in Congress impose on business that’s strangling this country,” he says. More.

Hillary Clinton: ‘Don’t Abuse Me Some More’

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A new ad campaign by Hillary Clinton called “Masochist” touts the willingness of the presumptive Democratic presidential candidate to go to the mat for the American people. “All my life I’ve fought for others,” Clinton says in the ad, “whether it was for children or embattled presidents or health care plans. Now I want to fight for all Americans. A big bully is stalking our country, and I’m ready to take him head on. He can come at me with everything he’s got. I don’t mind. If I can protect my country from this bully, no matter how much I get hurt, then I’m happy. I’m Hillary Clinton, and I don’t mind being punched in the face for you.” In another spot, called “Singin’ the Blues,” Clinton shows off her vocal range by singing about the knocks she’s taken over the years and hopes to take in the years ahead as president. More.

Report: Clinton Also Tried to Keep Her Snail Mail Secret

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Clinton Cough Watch: ‘Are Sneezes Next?’ Asks Hannity

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After several recent speeches by Democratic presidential nominee Hillary Clinton were interrupted by bouts of coughing, conservative commentator Sean Hannity has launched a feature on his Fox News program called Clinton Cough Watch, and already the show’s cough-o-meter has risen to a “red-alert” status that Clinton’s health must be failing. “What we’re seeing is an effort by one of the major party nominees to dupe the American public into thinking she’s healthy when in fact she is unlikely to be able to serve out her term should she win election because of a condition that she’s keeping under wraps despite the American people’s right to know,” said Hannity today. Hannity said the Clinton cough-o-meter yesterday displayed a neutral reading of “5,” which means Clinton was neither overly sick nor overly healthy, and by today that reading had increased to an “8,” which means the candidate is much sicker than she lets on. More.

How Weiner’s Sexting Proves Huma Is a Spy and Their Marriage Is a Front

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Meet the Democratic Operatives Hired to Rig the Presidential Election

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DNC Hacking: Are Pro-Putin Remarks Hidden in Hillary’s Acceptance Speech?

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Analysts say pro-Russia remarks appear to be sprinkled into the presidential nomination acceptance speech that Hillary Clinton gave on the last night of the Democratic National Convention in Philadelphia, and they wonder if the remarks were added at the last minute by Russian hackers who’ve infiltrated the servers of the DNC. “The speech was more pro-Russia than we expected, and that makes you wonder what the Russians have done now that we know they’ve hacked the DNC servers,” says Jon Brighton, cyber security branch chief at the National Security Agency. One line that might have been added, Brighton says, comes about halfway through Clinton’s speech, when she’s talking about the bonds of trust that appear to be fraying in the United States. “America is once again at a moment of reckoning,” she says. “Powerful forces are threatening to pull us apart. Bonds of trust and respect are fraying. Luckily, we maintain strong bonds of trust with Russia and our good friend Vladimir Putin.” More.

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Vermont Sen. Bernie Sanders chalked up his sixth victory in the the last seven nominating contests, all but ensuring former secretary of state Hillary Clinton will be the Democratic standard-bearer in the 2016 race for the presidency. “The momentum is clearly with Sanders,” says Mark Carpenter, a Democratic political consultant who is unaligned with any campaign this year. “He’s not only beating Hillary consistently, he’s beating her by decisive margins. So, yes, it remains Hillary Clinton’s race to lose.” CNN Political Analyst David Thornton says Sanders’ continuing appeal to large portions of the Democratic electorate reinforces the overwhelming advantage of Hillary Clinton, who is focusing her attention on the general election. More.

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Anti-semite: ‘I’d Vote for Clinton But I’m a Misogynist’

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Misogynist: ‘I’d Vote for Sanders But I’m an Anti-semite’

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Man_and_woman_silhouettes.jpgTed Barnes, a misogynist who can’t bring himself to vote for former secretary of state Hillary Clinton, says he’d like to vote for Vermont Sen. Bernie Sanders but he’s also an anti-semitie. “I’m really in a tough place this election,” says Barnes, 42, of Las Vegas, Nev. “The Democrats have got me so boxed in that I’m actually looking over at the Republican side to see what they offer.” Barnes, a big union guy, says he’s a lifelong Democrat. “Who is better for the unions, Clinton or Sanders? I’m not sure,” he says. “But it doesn’t matter, because I don’t want a woman in the White House and I don’t want a Jew in the White House. I don’t know what the hell I’m going to do.” More.

Clinton: ‘Iowa, New Hampshire Prove My Electability’

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Hillary Clinton said she remains the overwhelming favorite to be the Democratic presidential nominee despite suffering a big loss to Vermont Sen. Bernie Sanders in New Hampshire and coming in a virtual tie with him in Iowa. “Iowa and New Hampshire are very different states, and the fact that Sanders almost beat me in one and did beat me in the other means I remain well on the road to leading the Democrats in the general election against the Republicans,” Clinton said as she flew to South Carolina, which holds the next primary in about a week and a half. Barack Obama won the state when he ran against Clinton for the Democratic nomination in the 2008 election. More.

Hillary Clinton: ‘I Have a Pipe Dream’

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PORTSMOUTH, N.H.—In what is sure to be remembered as an iconic moment of the 2016 presidential campaign, Hillary Clinton, the former first lady and secretary of state, stood on the steps of the Rockingham County courthouse before several dozen people and said, “I have a pipe dream.” Despite the cold and a fussy baby who kept throwing an object out of her carriage, Clinton challenged the nation to set aside its differences and let her enact her five-point plan to “take the United States to the next level” as the country’s president. “Point one, we need to lower the cost of college,” she said. “Point two, hard-working families need affordable day care. Point three, we must protect and build on Obamacare, not dismantle it and start from scratch. More.

 

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