A voter says he’s not going to vote for Donald Trump for president if he doesn’t start making news the way he used to.
“I hear about these big-time advisers telling him to act presidential, and that’s just stupid,” says Scott (“Scotty”) McDowell, a voter in Wheeling, W.Va. “If I wanted some boring politician for president I’d have voted for John Kasich or Scott Walker. If you go and turn Trump into one of those guys, you’re gonna get the same result: Yawn. If he ain’t tying the media a-holes’knickers in a knot, he ain’t doing his job.”
Katich is the governor of Ohio, and Walker is the governor of Wisconsin. Both
men withdrew from the Republican primary contests after generating mixed results at the polls.
McDowell pointed to Trump’s reported vice presidential choice, Indiana Governor Mike Pence, as an example of everything Trump is doing wrong these days. “Maybe this guy Pence checks off all the boxes—on gays, guns, and god—but unless he’s doing it with his middle finger, who the hell cares?” he says.
McDowell held out hope Trump would surprise everyone by naming someone unexpected when he makes his running-mate announcement in the next day or two. “Let’s see his daughter on the ticket,” he said. “Ivanka would be good. Tom Brady would be good. Or Tim Tebow. Or Ted Nugent. Or Ann Coulter. Those are good middle fingers to the elites.
“Dammit, were not voting for someone to do the right thing,” he went on. “We’re voting a middle finger. Don’t give me some stupid politician who wants to wreck my life with his Wall Street policies; give me an FU candidate who wants to wreck my life with his Wall Street policies. My life’s gonna be wrecked wither way. I want to go down with a good FU!”
This is a work of satire. It is fictional news article not meant to be taken seriously. Photos (some modified) gs, ae (Creative Commons and public domain). Not necessarily an endorsed use of images.
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