Trump Promises Not to Brag If NRA OKs Gun Ban For Suspected Terrorists

mg

Don’t thank me

Presumptive Republican presidental nominee Donald Trump has called for a meeting with the National Rifle Association to discuss a gun ban for people on the government’s terrorist watch list, but he promises he won’t take credit if the NRA agrees with him and he achieves a policy goal others couldn’t achieve.

“I’ll do something that no one thought could be done, but I don’t want your congrats, believe me,” Trump said at a campaign stop in Pennsylvania this morning. “If the NRA tells Congress it’s OK to impose a gun ban on suspected terrorists, I won’t talk about how I did the deal. I don’t need the credit. Really, save your congratulations. I did something that others couldn’t. But I couldn’t care less if I get the credit.”

Trump said Obama’s failure to get the gun ban after years of trying shows what a loser the president is, but, even so, there’s no need for people to thank him for doing what Obama couldn’t. “Would I like to be recognized for doing the deal others couldn’t?” he said. “Let me tell you, that’s not important to me. Instead of your congrats, what I want is for everyone to know Obama couldn’t do the deal, crooked Hillary couldn’t do the deal, but I could do the deal even though I don’t want to take credit for it.”

The same holds true for other successes he’ll have. “I’m going to do a lot of things that others couldn’t do,” he said. “The differences will be incredible. I’ll get things done that people have been trying to do for a long time. But it’s not congratulations I’m looking for. All the terrorist attacks I’ll prevent—and, by the way, my Muslim ban will prevent a lot of them—people will love me for that. But I’m not going to talk about it. It’ll be amazing what I’ll do that I won’t want your thanks for.”

This is a work of satire. It is fictional news article not meant to be taken seriously. Photo: mg (Creative Commons via Wikimedia Commons). Not necessarily an endorsed use of images.

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