Trump: ‘Elect Me, So I Can Lead a Country Whose Institutions I Hold in Contempt’

trconRepublican nominee Donald Trump asked voters to elect him to the presidency because he wants to oversee a country whose institutions, traditions, and principles he holds in utter contempt. “Our legislative branch is a bunch of losers,” he said. “Our Judiciary puts Mexicans on the bench. Our public servants are incompetents who couldn’t get work in the private sector. I want to lead this country whose institutions I despise, so vote for me.”

Trump said he has no respect for a free press. “Nowhere in the Bill of Rights does it say we have a free press,” he said. “Read it. It’s not there. I can guarantee you it’s not there. If you think it’s there, you’re stupid.”

Higher education doesn’t earn his respect. “I personally know higher education is a scam,” he said. “It’s a money-making scam. and no one knows that better than I do.”

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00KVJ3GU6/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B00KVJ3GU6&linkCode=as2&tag=daily031-20&linkId=HNKGXJBRJ4WBLIABThe one institution he respects, Trump said, is the right to bear arms. “There’s going to be a lot of violence after I become president,” he said. “We’re going to need a well-armed country. If you don’t like that, you better start making travel plans now, because things are going to get nasty.”

Trump said he believes in the sanctity of life. “Imagine killing babies who aren’t related to terrorists,” he said. “I can guarantee you we’ll punish people who kill babies who aren’t related to terrorists.”

Other institutions Trump said he supports include marriage and religion. “I’ve been married three times,” he said. “I love that institution. And religion. It’s great for the uneducated.”

He said he respects the institution of slavery, although the “PC police” make it impossible for him to say that. “It would be nice to say what you really feel, but it’s a no-no,” he said. “That’s why the press and higher education have to go. Until they’re gone, we can’t re-institutionalize slavery and make America great again.”

This is a work of satire. It is fictional news article not meant to be taken seriously. Photo: cc and pd (Creative Commons). Not necessarily an endorsed use of image.

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Trump: People Say North Korea Is a Hoax, Moon Landing Was Faked, Ronald Reagan Was Murdered

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Publisher Promises Objectivity In Its Criticism of Hillary

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