Report: Clinton Also Tried to Keep Her Snail Mail Secret

mgAn internal U.S. State Department report released today says Hillary Clinton didn’t nkjust mishandle her official email when she was secretary of state; she also mishandled the mail she received through the U.S. Postal Service by having it sent to a post office near her home in Chappaqua, N.Y.

“Despite being advised on several occasions by agency officials, Secretary Clinton chose to have her mail delivered to a P.O. Box at the Wainscott, N.Y., Post Office, an unsecured location, because of its ‘convenience’ and for other reasons,” says the report.

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Secure location?

State Department Inspector General Alfred Cummings led the department’s internal investigation into Clinton’s communications and said the secretary broke no fewer than three rules by having her mail sent to the remote post office:

1. Substance testing. Clinton’s mail was never checked for harmful substances such as anthrax, which meant that her mail received no screening except for routine checks carried out by the Post Office, which “suck,” the report says.

2. Secret message decoding. Clinton’s mail was never subject to review by State Department specialists for coded or secret messages, which are “usually sent by mentally disturbed people,” the report said, but that “nevertheless need to be investigated in case something cool is received.”

3. Assignment of offers. The catalogs and offers for free or discounted merchandise and services that Clinton received through the mail were never processed by the department, preventing distribution of the benefits and purchase opportunities to the appropriate recipients according to departmental rules. “For example,” the report says, “throughout her term of service, Shipping and Receiving (SR-107) did not receive a single Victoria’s Secret catalog, the assigned department for such materials.”

In a statement, Clinton, the presumptive Democratic nominee for president, said no classified information was affected by the arrangement, and as for the Victoria’s Secret catalogs, she doesn’t recall seeing those. “Had I seen one, I might have ordered something from it, even though the store usually doesn’t carry my size,” she said.

On Capitol Hill, House Speaker Paul Ryan (R-Wis.) called Clinton’s action “brazen disregard of rules that she herself was sworn to uphold” and he said he has appointed Rep. Trey Gowdy (R-S.C.) to investigate this latest ethics violation of Clinton’s . Gowdy, who chairs the House investigation into the deaths of embassy officials in Beghazi, Libya, when Clinton was secretary, says his review of Clinton’s “obvious criminal actions” will be conducted objectively. “We will be careful and balanced as we expose her arrogant, illegal, and probably impeachable behavior,” he said.

This is a work of satire. It is fictional news article not meant to be taken seriously. Photo: mg, ar (Creative Commons). Not necessarily an endorsed use of image.

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