Clinton: ‘Not Saying Trump is Gay, But People Are Saying It’

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Just what I’m hearing

SACRAMENTO—Presumptive Democratic presidential nominee Hillary Clinton said at a campaign rally here today she doesn’t believe Donald Trump is a homosexual but she hears “more and more” rumors that he is and she agrees his actions “can lead one” to believe that.

“In some ways, I would respect him more if it turns out he secretly is a gay man trying to lead a straight life, because it would explain his struggles with the truth and perhaps his insecurity,” said Clinton, who is campaigning in California this week to prevent a last-minute primary win by her rival for the Democratic nomination, Vermont senator Bernie Sanders.

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Truth to rumors?

Clinton said it’s time for discrimination against people for sexual orientation and gender identity to stop, and Trump—should the rumors prove true—should use his position to help bring about equality in the United States. “Again, if Donald Trump is gay—and I’m not saying he is—then good for him. He should embrace it, celebrate it,” she said. “What he shouldn’t do is side with the extreme right in its war against the LGBT community, as he’s doing.”

There have always been rumors about Trump’s sexual orientation, Clinton said, but up until now she has chosen to ignore them. But that’s become more difficult lately, she said, because “people keep pointing out their suspicions that Trump is a closet gay, a ‘fag’ some call him, and I’d like to just ignore this clamor but it just keeps getting louder and louder.”

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Manly?

https://www.amazon.com/Mansy-Fashion-pineapple-Printed-Sleeveless/dp/B01EQGU7OC/ref=as_li_ss_il?s=apparel&ie=UTF8&qid=1488110689&sr=1-13&nodeID=7147440011&keywords=novelty+tank+tops+for+women&th=1&linkCode=li2&tag=daily031-20&linkId=63ba3ddfdbe05d824a6cfcf41b079229Clinton cited Trump’s feud with Fox News reporter Megyn Kelly as “classic gay-man behavior,” and his obvious revulsion to anything having to do with bodily fluids could stem from his struggle to hide his sexual identity all these years. “It’s not easy being something you’re not,” she said. “When you deny yourself something as fundamental as your sexual identity, then you probably do develop neuroses like a preoccupation with sweat, menstruation, and bathroom habits. It’s sad, really, and it’s certainly not fair to his lovely wife if he’s really gay, because that would mean he’s just using her—as he’s used all his wives, for that matter—to help him project a myth of masculinity.”

She added that, if the rumors aren’t true—“which I believe they’re not”—he should quell them once and for all by saying, “‘I’m Donald Trump, and I’m not gay.'”

This is a work of satire. It is fictional news article not meant to be taken seriously. Photo: mg, gs (Creative Commons). Not necessarily an endorsed use of image.

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Can't compete?

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Despite His Criminality and Sexual Assault Bragging, He’s Not a Mexican Criminal or Rapist, Trump Says

'I'm really rich.'*

Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump says he shouldn’t be mistaken for a Mexican, because although his university and foundation are under criminal investigation, his type of criminality is different from a Mexican’s. The same goes for the revelation that he’s a man who sexually assaults women. Although he kisses and grabs women without waiting for their consent, he isn’t a Mexican rapist because he’s a celebrity and the women let him do it. “Hillary Clinton and her slimy rapist husband Bill Clinton are trying to make people believe I’m Mexican because of the criminality of my operations and my history of assaulting and abusing women,” he said today. “But I’m not, and these attacks are part of the rigged election. I can guarantee you, my supporters are going to use their Second Amendment freedom to protest this rigged election when I lose because of Hillary’s cheating.” More.

Trump: ‘I Grab People’s Credulity. When You’re a Star, They Let You Do That’

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Kaine: ‘Yappiness in the Pursuit of Truth is No Vice’

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‘It’s Be Nice If People Would Pay Their Taxes So We Can Fix Our Third-World Infrastructure’

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Five Other Things Trump Chose Not to Say During First Debate

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Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump said he took the high road by not saying anything about Bill Clinton’s infidelities during his first debate with Hillary Clinton at Hofstra University. He elected to hold back in part because Chelsea Clinton, the daughter of Bill and Hillary Clinton, was in the audience, he said. Here are five other things he could have said but didn’t because he elected to take the high road: 1. Unlike Ivanka, Chelsea is not a daughter he would want to date. She simply doesn’t have it in the looks department. Figure’s not as good. Face isn’t as pretty. No, he would definitely not take her out on a date. More.

‘Nice Pantsuit!’ Trump Tells Angela Merkel in Late-Night Tweetstorm

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Not waiting to get into the White House to exercise his unique brand of Twitter diplomacy, Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump late last night wondered aloud if Germany’s chancellor, Angela Merkel, and his Democratic opponent, Hillary Clinton, get their pantsuit ideas from the same JC Penney catalog. “I notice it’s not a catalogue Melania has laying around on her nightstand,” he said. “Maybe there’s a reason for that. Does Victoria Secret make sizes big enough for them? I doubt it!” He also called North Korea’s launch of a ballistic missile from a submarine two weeks ago a “pathetic” attempt to be relevant in the global arena and said it makes the country’s leader, Kim Jong-un, look “small and sad.” Trump also revisited one of his favorite topics about China—its currency manipulation—by condemning the International Monetary Fund for adding the Yuan to its list of reserve currencies. “Just like it manipulates its currency, China has manipulated the losers at the IMF,” he said. More.

Bill’s Infidelities Disqualify Hillary for Office, Voters Say

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A poll conducted shortly after the first presidential debate between Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump at Hofstra University shows voters overwhelmingly believe the Democratic nominee is unqualified for the presidency because her husband, former president Bill Clinton, cheated on her. “How many affairs did Bill Clinton have? Four? Five?” says Greg Newsome, a warehouse supervisor in Harrisburg, Pa. “And she wants to be president? I just don’t see how she can be our leader if her husband had affairs with other women.” Many voters say they’re disappointed Trump held back from bringing up Bill Clinton’s affairs during the first debate. “If there’s a nuclear emergency at 3 a.m., how will Hillary make the right decision if her husband couldn’t keep his pants on when he was younger?” says Ann Burton, a retired school teacher in Springfield, Mo. More.

Voter, His Money Lost to a Trump Scam, Says Crooked Hillary Should Go to Prison

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Hank Galloway, a retired stockroom supervisor who lost about $16,000 when he invested in a Trump resort that was never built, says Democratic presidential nominee Hillary Clinton is a corrupt politician who stole plateware from the White House and should be sent to prison and he wouldn’t mind if she were on the target side of a bullet, either. “That was a good chunk of my life’s savings that I lost in that Trump project,” says Galloway, 69. “If Crooked Hillary doesn’t go to jail instead of the White House, it’s because we’re letting terrorists laugh up their sleeve at our country and giving good-paying jobs to Mexicans who think life in America is one long siesta.” Galloway says he also tried to learn how to become a real estate investor by taking classes at Trump University, but he didn’t learn anything except that he should invest money in Trump projects, which he did. “It’s these regulations that the Socialists in Congress impose on business that’s strangling this country,” he says. More.

House Republicans, Looking to Get ‘Jump Start,’ Begin Impeachment of Hillary Clinton

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Speaker of the House Paul Ryan (R-Wis.) says he has asked Rep. Trey Gowdy (R-S.C) to start the process of impeaching Democratic presidential nominee Hillary Clinton even though she hasn’t won the presidency yet because waiting could enable her to govern should she win more votes in November than her Republican rival Donald Trump. “I acknowledge it’s unprecedented to start impeaching a president before the president is elected, but we live in unprecedented times and we must act to protect the American people before a president commits an impeachable act that we know the president will commit,” says Ryan, who made his announcement at the Capitol this morning. More.

Trump Says His Dictatorship Will Be Benevolent

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Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump acknowledged he plans to govern as a dictator but he wanted to reassure voters that he would make decisions in the interests of the country. “When I curb the press, it wont be to hurt America, it will be to make America stronger,” he said. “If I let the press criticize everything I do—and they will, because they’re totally dishonest—I can’t get anything done. I want to get things done, so I have to curb the press. But we’ll still have some free press. We’ll keep the good ones. It won’t be entirely gone.” Trump promised to take a firmer hand on how cases get settled in the courts. “Right now our courts are a disaster,” he said. “We have cases backlogged. Why do we use juries as much as we do? Especially if the person is guilty. Let’s get these guilty criminals directly into jail and save he courts for when we really need them.” More.

Clinton Cough Watch: ‘Are Sneezes Next?’ Asks Hannity

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After several recent speeches by Democratic presidential nominee Hillary Clinton were interrupted by bouts of coughing, conservative commentator Sean Hannity has launched a feature on his Fox News program called Clinton Cough Watch, and already the show’s cough-o-meter has risen to a “red-alert” status that Clinton’s health must be failing. “What we’re seeing is an effort by one of the major party nominees to dupe the American public into thinking she’s healthy when in fact she is unlikely to be able to serve out her term should she win election because of a condition that she’s keeping under wraps despite the American people’s right to know,” said Hannity today. Hannity said the Clinton cough-o-meter yesterday displayed a neutral reading of “5,” which means Clinton was neither overly sick nor overly healthy, and by today that reading had increased to an “8,” which means the candidate is much sicker than she lets on. More.

Katrina Pierson: ‘Kellyanne Conway Is Not a Better Liar Than I Am’

kpkc Katrina Pierson, the spokesperson for Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump, said this morning that she’s a better liar than new campaign manager Kellyanne Conway and that there’s no truth to the rumor that Conway is doing most of the TV appearances these days because Trump is unhappy with how well Pierson is lying. “I know people like to spread the lie that somehow Kellyanne is a better liar than I am, but that is an outright lie and I can say in all honesty I am the better liar and Donald Trump has said he truthfully believes I’m a better liar,” said Pierson, who has been Trump’s chief spokesperson since early last year, when the real estate mogul announced his candidacy. More.

Rush Limbaugh to Glenn Beck: ‘You Don’t Exist to Me Anymore’

spltRight-wing radio commentator Rush Limbaugh says he loves Glenn Beck, his fellow conservative talker, but his refusal to back Donald Trump for president is just a total bitch slap. “All the times I was there for him, and this is the thanks I get,” Limbaugh said of Beck on his popular radio show today. “When the lefties were calling him a Nazi, I stood up for him. When they were accusing him of being a deranged conspiracist, I had his back. Now when we’re so close to getting Hillary Clinton put into jail, he goes wobbly and says he can’t support Donald Trump because he’s not a true conservative. Oh, aren’t you just so high minded? Are your hemorrhoids bothering you or is that really a stick up your you-know-what?” More.

David Hume to Donald Trump: ‘I was only kidding about preferring the destruction of the world to the scratching of my finger’

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The brilliant Scottish philosopher David Hume, whose Treatise of Human Nature in 1739 turned the world of moral philosophy upside down and spurred Immanuel Kant to write his momentous critical philosophy in response, arose from the dead today to tell Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump that he was only kidding when he said it’s perfectly reasonable for someone to prefer the destruction of the world to the scratching of one’s finger “Donald, when I wrote my Treatise I was only 23 years old and was a little full of myself at the time,” said Hume, who died in 1776 at the age of 65. “It was my view, as a brash young man looking to make a name for himself, that reason is the slave of emotions and our moral views are based on our passions, not on our reason. That’s why I said—I’m not sure of the exact words, but it was something like, ‘It is not contrary to reason to prefer the destruction of the whole world to the scratching of my finger.’ More.

Donald Trump’s Mouth Caught Talking Without His Brain Again

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The mouth of Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump was caught talking without the candidate’s brain at a rally in Altoona, Pa., today, marking the seventh time in the last day and a half that unsupervised words from the candidate’s mouth were allowed into the world. “The only way we could lose, in my opinion—I really mean this, Pennsylvania—is if cheating goes on,” Trump said at the rally. Trump, who is down in the polls in this and other battleground states, has started letting his mouth talk without restraint about cheating and rigged elections as a way to delegitimize the election outcome should he lose, setting the stage for widespread instability in the world’s oldest democracy. More.

Trump: ‘PC Police Won’t Let Me Call For Assassination of Clinton’

mnRepublican presidential nominee says it’s just like the “PC police” to give him a hard time for calling for the assassination of his Democratic rival, Hillary Clinton, to prevent her from picking the country’s next Supreme Court judges. “Wouldn’t you know I would be criticized for suggesting a Second Amendment solution to a Crooked hillary victory,” Trump said at a campaign stop in Lexington, Va. “You can’t say anything today without running afoul of the PC police.” Trump sparked a round of condemnation yesterday by alluding to what gun owners could do if Clinton wins. “If she gets to pick her judges, nothing you can do, folks,” Trump said at a rally in Wilmington, N.C. “Although the Second Amendment people—maybe there is. I don’t know.” More.

Scandal: Hillary Hacks Hamilton Hairstyle

pwDid Crooked Hillary hack the hairstyle of Alexander Hamilton and other Founding Fathers by rocking a wavy, pewter-white-colored hair style at her July 28 acceptance speech for the Democratic presidential nomination? A group of hairstylists says she did just that and it’s calling the candidate out on it. “As professional hairstylists in the United States, we are concerned that Hillary Clinton is not being upfront about the message she intended to convey at a moment when millions of Americans were watching her,” says the group, the American Association of Hairstylists. “We believe she intended to convey the look of the powdered wigs of our our country’s Founding Fathers by coloring her hair a pewter-white and feathering the sides. We find this action presumptuous and disingenuous, and we ask the candidate to be upfront with the American people about this deception, if that in fact is what it is.” More.

Trump Denies Changing Combover as Clinton Gains in Popularity

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Presumptive Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump says he hasn’t started arranging his combover in a different way to reflect the surge in popularity of Hillary Clinton now that she has amassed enough delegates to be his Democratic opponent in the general election this fall. “Crooked Hillary will be in jail before she’s the Democratic nominee, so I can assure you I haven’t changed anything about my hair,” Trump said at a campaign stop in San Diego this morning. “I’ve been combing it the same way since I was 30 years old. And you know why? Because it’s perfect the way it is. Even the Mexicans love it. They wish they could have my hair. And maybe they can someday, if they behave themselves.” More.

Trump: People Say North Korea Is a Hoax, Moon Landing Was Faked, Ronald Reagan Was Murdered

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SACRAMENTO, Calif.—Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump said today he believes the moon landing in 1969 was real but “many people” believe the whole thing was orchestrated by the federal government to impress the world and scare the Soviets. “I’m not saying I believe that, but many people have questions about it,” Trump said at a campaign appearance here. “There are people who know about these things who say they saw the interior of a warehouse in Los Angeles converted to look like the surface of the moon, complete with fine dust and craters and the whole thing. Lot of tinfoil lying around. More.

Gays Marry? Let Them Be Miserable, Too

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Saying it shouldn’t just be straight couples who lead lives of bonded servitude and imprisonment, Dave Turner of Indianapolis has come out in support of the right of gays to marry. “Taking out the garbage, withholding sex for some petty reason—sure, if gays want to institutionalize their misery, let them go for it,” says Turner, 42, manager at an auto parts distribution center. Turner says he recognizes that gay couples already have good relationships or bad relationships, just as married straight couples do, but the difference is that married straight coupes have institutionalized their misery, while gay couples are still free, at least in the eyes of the community, or the law, to split whenever they want. “So, if they want to tie their hands in the same way my hands are tied to my wife, they should be free to do that,” he says. More.

No Gays in Iran, U.N. Report Concludes

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After seven years of investigation, a United Nations team of researchers has concluded that Iran does not have homosexuals, as former Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad asserted at Columbia University in 2007. In his statement seven years ago, while he was speaking in New York City, Ahmadinejad told his audience of mostly students and faculty that “In Iran we don’t have homosexuals like in your country. We do not have this phenomenon. I do not know who has told you we have it.” At the time, the comment elicited laughter and some boos among the 700 people in the audience. But according to the U.N. team that has just delivered its comprehensive report to U.N. Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon, Iran in fact has no homosexuals. More.

N.C. Bathroom Policeman: ‘I’m Doing It for the Girls’

brIn an exclusive Q&A, Tim Peters, the man selected to patrol public bathrooms in North Carolina under the state’s new anti-LGBT bathroom law, sits down with The Nattering Nabobs to talk about why he’s the man for the job. The Nattering Nabobs: You’ve been a policeman since 1992. Why did you throw your hat into the ring when the state was looking for a bathroom monitor? Not only is the law controversial, but you have to spend your days in bathrooms. Tim Peters: I’m doing it for the girls. When they go to the bathroom, they should be able to pull up their dresses and pull down their panties without any other man being in the bathroom. More.

Woman Says She’s Trump’s Daughter; Seeks White House Bedroom

nwrIn a sensational claim, the supermarket tabloid Weekly National Report says a 50-year-old woman in Fayetteville, Ark., Dannielle Eggles, is the daughter of presumptive Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump and she’s demanding a “White House bedroom” for her and her husband if he is elected president. “This is the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but I feel I must come forward because it’s time for my daddy to stop pretending I don’t exist,” Eggles said at a press conference in Fayetteville yesterday. Eggles, a clerk at Target, said she had resigned herself to living in the shadow of her famous father and her glamorous half brothers and sisters, but six months ago she and her husband, Ron Eggles, decided she could no longer do that. “We just thought it wasnt fair that Ivanka, Tiffany, Eric, Donald, Jr., and Barron all get to live the high life while we have to scrape our fingers to the bone just because daddy pretends I don’t exist.” More.

Hastert: ‘I’m Just One in a Long Line of Republican Hypocrites’

commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/Category:Dennis_Hastert#/media/File:US_Navy_061230-D-1142M-014_Former_First_Lady_Betty_Ford_attends_a_memorial_service_at_the_capitol.jpgDisgraced former Speaker of the House Denny Hastert says he’s ashamed of his behavior decades ago, when he acted inappropriately with underage boys as their teacher and coach in Yorkville, Ill. But he also defended himself, saying the Republican party has a long history of its members condemning people for marital infidelity and sexual “deviancy” while secretly engaging in the practices themselves. “Everyone knows the Republican party is full of closet homosexuals and serial marital cheaters even though it touts itself as the family-values party,” Hastert, 74, said after his admission in the U.S. District Court for the Northern District of Illinois, Eastern Division. “I can show you a list as long as my arm of Republicans in Congress who lie about their sexual identity and cheat on their spouses while condemning others for doing the same.” More.

Nickelback, Other Bands Not On Tour Refuse to Play North Carolina

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The backlash to North Carolina’s anti-LGBT religious freedom law continues as Nickelback, One Direction, Insane Clown Posse, and several other bands not on tour say they refuse to play in the state until it repeals its controversial law. “If we were on tour right now, we would not play in the state in solidarity with fellow bands that are touring and taking a financial hit by not playing in the state,” sys Chad Kroeger, lead singer and guitarist with Nickelback, which last put out an album in 2014. Insane Clown Posse, a rap duo that isn’t on tour, has also announced a boycott of the state. “No way are we playing in North Carolina,” says Joseph Bruce, also known as Violent J. More.

Trump: ‘My Women Will Tell You I’m Not a Misogynist’

mnRepublican presidential nomination front-runner Donald Trump said today he’s not a misogynist and that “his women” will tell you that. “My wife Melania and my daughter Ivanka, just ask them,” said Trump. “They’ll tell you I’m no misogynist. And my other women—Marla and Ivana. They’ll tell you the same thing. All of my women, past and present, know I like women. In fact, I love women. I love them a lot.” Trump said “his women at work” also know he’s not a misogynist. “I give all of my women at The Trump Company opportunity. I give them responsibility. I don’t have to give them those things, but I do. Because my women are the best. In fact, I wouldn’t have anything but the best women.” More.

Babes Launch ‘Dudes For Hillary’ to Elevate Men’s ‘Voices’

dMen have strong political convictions; men have the right to vote. More importantly, though, men have abs and biceps. At first glance, you might gather that’s the message behind a growing Snapchat account, “Dudes For Hillary,” which proclaims to be “Making America Whole Again One Dude at A Time.” The account, that is run by women, houses dozens of images of conventionally attractive men baring it all in the name of supporting Hillary. More.

Rubio: Should Have Hit the Genitalia Thing Longer and Harder

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Fla. Sen. Marco Rubio said yesterday his biggest mistake was waiting too long and going too soft on Republican nomination frontrunner Donald Trump’s genitalia. “Had I brought out the genitalia attack in early February, when it would have had the most impact, I could have dented Trump’s momentum and carried far more Super Tuesday states than just Minnesota,” he said. Rubio spoke with reporters after his announcement last night that he was ending his campaign for president. Rubio also said he should have hit the genitalia issue harder. “It wasn’t enough to allude to the fact that Trump had small genitalia,” he said. “I underestimated how important a line of argument that was. The situation called for a full frontal assault on his finger length, which would have suggested more than just his fingers were short. But you can’t turn back time. It is what it is.” More.

Trump to Pick Daughter Ivanka to Be Vice Presidential Running Mate

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Republican presidentlal nomination frontrunner Donald Trump is planning to name his daughter, Ivanka Trump, to be his vice presidential running mate, according to Trump campaign officials who have worked on the matter. “It’s an unorthodox pick, but Donald knows the public loves his daughter and so he believes the two of them will make an unbeatable team in the general election,” says a campaign official who spoke on the condition of anonymity. “Ivanka’s favorable ratings are far higher than her father’s, so there’s a feeling that she’ll lift him up in states he’s lagging in.” There are other names on Trump’s list, but the official said it’s unlikely to be anyone other than Ivanka. More.

Actually, Hillary Has the Longest Fingers

IF2Boasts and counter-boasts about who among the remaining U.S. presidential candidates has the longest fingers, and therefore the most impressive endowment, took an unexpected turn when it was revealed that Democratic nomination front-runner Hillary Clinton has the longest fingers of them all. “Donald Trump might think he has his competition beat when it comes to the length of his fingers, but he might want to get out his ruler again because no one’s got an endowment like Hillary Clinton, if the length of her fingers is any guide,” says political consultant John Mayberry, who spoke this morning on CBS News. “I think this might give us some insight into who the real man in this campaign is.” More.

Bernie Sanders Goes Shirtless in ‘Shameless’ Grab for Women Voters

bb1A trove of pictures showing a shirtless Bernie Sanders on the beach are making the rounds online, giving the 75-year-old Democratic nomination contender a big lift in the polls, especially in the key battleground state of Florida. And the Hillary Clinton campaign is crying foul. “We didn’t think Sanders would stoop so low to pull away older women voters who’ve always been among Hillary Clinton’s core supporters, but he did, and we’re calling him out on it,” says Meg Smith, the Clinton campaign’s Florida coordinator. “Bernie, put your shirt back on!” More.

Marla Maples: Despite Wealth, Donald Trump Is Not Well-Endowed

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Marla Maples, the former wife of Republican presidential nomination frontrunner Donald Trump, says her former husband is endowed with wealth and a go-getter personality, but he is not well-endowed in the one aspect of his life he would like to be, and she thinks that this inadequacy is driving his presidential run. “Do I think he feels small in that respect?” asked the one-time actress who was Trump’s wife from 1993 to 1997 and was known as the “other woman” when Trump was married to Ivana Trump. They had one daughter between them, Tiffany Trump, who today is known for her enthusiastic use of Instagram. More.

Clearly Undoctored Photos Show Obama Romping With Young Women

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/Category:Miniskirts#/media/File:Miniskirts010.jpg https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/Category:Miniskirts#/media/File:Olympia_Fashion_Show_2010_(43).jpg https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/Category:Miniskirts#/media/File:Shenaz_Treasuryvala,_Pooja_Gujral,_Kavi_Shastri_at_the_launch_of_%27Main_Aur_Mr._Riight%27_(7).jpgWASHINGTON—The Republican National Committee is sending shockwaves through the United States by releasing clearly undoctored photos of President Barack Obama romping with young, scantily clad women in the Oval Office. “It is with a heavy heart that we release these genuine and authentic photos depicting our president acting in a way that can only be described as unpresidential,” RNC Chairman Reince Priebus said at a hastily called press conference today. More.

Trump Combover Called ‘Perv’ for Sending Salacious Tweets

pd File:Donald_Trump_2_April_2015.jpg File:Anthonyweiner.jpgThe closely watched combover of Donald Trump has been sending sexually suggestive tweets and photos to several of its Twitter followers, federal investigators allege. If true, that could imperil the Republican presidential nomination frontrunner’s candidacy, analysts say. Jerome Casing, chief of social media security at the FBI’s Criminal, Cyber, Response, and Services Branch, says his team has been tracking the combover since April, when it received a tip from one of the hair’s followers that it has been embedding unwanted photos in innuendo-laden tweets. “All I can say is, we’re talking to the combover of Mr. Trump at this time about matters concerning communications on the Internet,” says Casing. “Beyond that we have no comment.” More.

X-Ray Analysis Exposes O’Donnell Tattoo Under Trump’s Combover

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Why does Republican presidential nomination frontrunner Donald Trump maintain an elaborate combover rather than embrace his receding hairline? Investigators have provided a possible answer to that question by conducting an x-ray analysis of his forehead and revealing a tattooed image of long-time Trump nemesis Rosie O’Donnell, the TV personality and liberal political activist whom Trump has called “fat” and a “pig.” “This is truly an unexpected finding,” says Albert Sherzberg, professor of macro x-ray fluorescence spectroscopy at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, who led the research effort. “I think I speak for many when I say I did not expect to find a tattoo of Rosie O’Donnell under Trump’s combover.” More.

Exclusive: Megyn Kelly Poster Seen in Room of Trump’s Combover

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An explosive photo leaked by the Associated Press today shows a poster of Fox News reporter Megyn Kelly in the bedroom of the iconic combover of Republican presidential nominee frontrunner Donald Trump. The poster depicts Kelly, the veteran TV journalist who sparred with Trump during the first Republican nomination debate last month in Cleveland over the real estate mogul’s treatment of women, framed in images of butterflies and love hearts. She is fully clothed. Since the debate, Kelly and Trump have been locked in a contentious public relations battle over their testy exchange, during which Trump had admitted calling TV host and political activist Rosie McDonnell “fat” and a “pig.” More.

Cross-dressing Society Sues Garment Industry for Not Making Women’s Clothes That Fit Men, and Vice Versa

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Calling it “unconscionable” that no women’s clothes are made to fit men, and vice versa, the North American Cross-Dressing Society filed lawsuits in the United States and Canada today against the garment industry in the hopes of forcing manufacturers to end size discrimination. “These lawsuits are for cross-dressers everywhere who are tired of the slim pickings they find at clothing racks across the United States and Canada,” says John Sebers, president of the cross-dressers group and a cross-dresser who lives in Fort Lauderdale, Fla. “In a day and age when heroes like Caitlin Jenner are breaking down barriers for transgender people, we cross-dressers continue to find our favorite coordinates and our essential mix-and-match outfits completely mis-sized for us.” More.

Trump’s Combover in Torrid Affair with Rosie O’Donnell

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The famous combover of Republican presidential nomination front-runner Donald Trump has been having an affair with lesbian comedian and activist Rosie O’Donnell and continues to meet with the TV personality on a weekly basis, investigators say. “We can confirm that regular meetings between the comb-over and the comedian are occurring and have been occurring for several years,” says David Rosten, an attorney who has been retained by Fox News to look into allegations of the affair. Donald Trump is married, although his combover is not. Roger Stone, a long-time associate of Trump who is now working independently of the candidate, says he’s also looked into the affair and is seeking media outlets to discuss his findings because American voters have a right to know about this important allegation. More.

 

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