Accountant: Trump So Broke He Can’t Even Afford His Own Steaks

gsDespite boasts about his wealth, presumptive Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump is pretty broke, says an accountant who prepared the real estate mogul’s taxes before he ran for president.

“He would be fine if he sold off Trump Tower and his fleet of planes—which are quite old and outmoded, by the way—but he refuses to do that and his bottom line is paying the price for that stubbornness,” says Samuel Green, a CPA with Gunther, Green & Taylor, one of Manhattan’s largest accountant firms.

1040Green was lead accountant on Trump’s taxes from 2003 to 2014 but was reassigned after recommending asset sales to liquidate the equity Trump has left in his holdings.

ab“I know he’s got his name on everything, but most of that is branding,” he says. “He basically gets royalty payments for those, and that’s not bringing in much money. In terms of his actual assets, a lot of them are simply old, like his planes. No real mogul today would be caught dead flying around in those antiques. Have you seen his 757? It’s a museum piece. I don’t know how he keeps that thing in the air, duct tape and super glue, I guess.”

ba

Museum piece?

Green says the reason Trump won’t release his taxes is because his fortune is anything but. “A billionaire? Only if you value his brand name at a billion dollars,” he says. “Because he sure isn’t a billionaire based on the value of his hard assets. If he cleared a couple of million dollars last year, I’d be surprised. A CEO of a small company making grocery carts probably makes more than he does.”

Trump said earlier this week he’ll no longer self-fund his campaign now that he’s put the primaries behind him. Green said he’s been expecting that announcement for some time. “I’m sure the primaries have killed his finances,” he says. “It’s not cheap flying around the country telling people you’re a billionaire. It costs a lot of money to do that, and to afford it, you really have to be a billioanaire.”

This is a work of satire. It is fictional news article not meant to be taken seriously. Photo: gs, ab, ba (Creative Commons). Not necessarily an endorsed use of image.

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