A Desperate Carly Fiorina Picks Cruz For Her Presidential Running Mate

Team Fiorina

Team Fiorina

Former Hewlett-Packard CEO Carly Fiorina has selected Texas Sen. Ted Cruz to be her presidential running mate in the hopes of rekindling her bid to be vice president of the United States.

“Sen. Cruz and I have always been on the same page when it comes to abortion, carpet bombing Islamic radicals, and not letting the Supreme Court tip to the Democrats,” Fiorina said in her speech last night announcing Cruz as her running mate. “What’s more, he has demonstrated that he’s really the only candidate who has a path to the nomination besides Donald Trump.”

Fiorna, who has been out of a job since she was fired from Hewlett-Packard in 2005, ran unsuccessfully for governor of California in 2010 and then for the Republican presidential nomination, although she bowed out early and her bid was always seen as an audition for vice president.

Fewer empty seats now?

Fewer empty seats now?

Cruz has consistently been the strongest challenger to real estate mogul Donald Trump, but the gap between the two has widened in recent weeks, and it has become mathematically impossible for Cruz to secure the nomination on the first ballot at the Republican convention in July. Instead, he’ll have to wait for a second ballot, when delegates are no longer bound by the primary or caucus results in their state.

With Fiorina back on the stage as a vice presidential contender, she stands to cut into one of the strongest selling cards of presumptive Democratic nominee Hillary Clinton, which is her gender. “Now, Hillary won’t be the only woman in the race,” Fiorina said. “I will be in the race, too.”

But analysts said Fiorina is taking a risk playing the woman card. “Voters don’t just vote for a candidate because of gender,” says Robert Barton, a former Republican campaign strategist who consults for Fox News. “They look at other things, including decisions the candidate makes. And she just made a big decision: to have Cruz run with her. So people are going to ask, ‘Why didn’t she pick Trump? He’s the only one with a viable path to the nomination.’ Her choice really has people asking, ‘Does she have the judgment to be vice president?'”


Trump: ‘Beautiful face’

Jim Thorton, political analyst for CBS News, says a Trump-Fiorina ticket would be stronger against Clinton, but the two never got along while she was in the race. “Remember, Trump suggested she wasn’t attractive,” Thorton says. “Of course, he retracted that and said she has a beautiful face, but everyone knows he was just walking back his remarks. Trump clearly considers himself a connoisseur of female beauty—just look at his wives—so Fiorina knew he would turn her down if she asked him to be her presidential running mate.”

The candidate she really wants to run with is Clinton, says Peter Greer, NBC’s senor political analyst. “You can tell how much Fiorina admires Clinton in the way she criticizes her,” he says. “You don’t tear into someone like that unless you secretly love the person. And the way Carly is always saying Americans want to see the two of them debate. What that really means is, Carly wants to be on the stage with Clinton as an equal partner. Well, that’s not going to happen, because Clinton is running as the top dog and Fiorina is letting Cruz run as the top dog. It’s not what she wants, but it’s the best she can get.”

This is a work of satire. It is fictional news article not meant to be taken seriously. Photo: mv, gs (Creative Commons). Not necessarily an endorsed use of image.

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