“As one of the first U.S. senators to endorse Ted Cruz for president, I can tell you it’s not an easy thing to do,” Graham said at a press conference at the National Press Club in Washington. “But with my kit, you don’t need to suffer the way I did. My kit has a remedy for every stage of the process: the self-loathing, the impulse to cut yourself . . . . Think of a kindly guide escorting you through the 9 stages of Hell. You can’t escape your fate, but the sting doesn’t have to be quite so bad.”
Here’s what you get for $7.99:
Graham said you don’t have to be a member of Congress to purchase the kit and he’s keeping none of the proceeds for himself. “I’ve instructed my personal PAC to launch a charity, Save the Republicans, to find a cure for the deadly disease that is killing Republicans around the country.”
The Ted Cruz Endorsemet Survival Kit is available for a limited time.
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Texas Sen. Ted Cruz said if he’s elected president he would waste no time in shutting down the federal government, something he tried but failed to do three years ago as a member of the U.S. Senate. “The reason I tried to shut down the government three years ago is still present today,” Cruz said yesterday at a campaign stop in Harrisonburg, Pa. “Obamacare. Nothing has changed. That’s why, on Day One, I’m turning out the lights and locking the door to the federal government.” Cruz embarked on a 21-hour filibuster in October 2013 to prevent a Senate vote on a bill to raise the ceiling on the amount of debt the United States government can incur. In years past, periodic increases in the debt ceiling passed routinely, regardless of who was in the White House. More.
Former Hewlett-Packard CEO Carly Fiorina has selected Texas Sen. Ted Cruz to be her presidential running mate in the hopes of rekindling her bid to be vice president of the United States. “Sen. Cruz and I have always been on the same page when it comes to abortion, carpet bombing Islamic radicals, and not letting the Supreme Court tip to the Democrats,” Fiorina said in her speech last night announcing Cruz as her running mate. “What’s more, he has demonstrated that he’s really the only candidate who has a path to the nomination besides Donald Trump.” Fiorna, who has been out of a job since she was fired from Hewlett-Packard in 2005, ran unsuccessfully for governor of California in 2010 and then for the Republican presidential nomination. More.
Republican party officials are giddy over the prospect of Donald Trump and Ted Cruz joining forces in Cleveland and taking on Hillary Clinton in the general election this fall. “A Trump-Cruz combo is guaranteed to win us at least one state in the general election, and possibly even two,” says a Republican party operative who asked not to be identified so he could talk candidly about campaign strategy. “Let Hillary Clinton and whoever she’s running with take 48, maybe 49 states. With our two leading candidates joining forces, we’ll get a state—and maybe two. And they could be big ones.” More.
SALT LAKE CITY—Texas Sen. Ted Cruz said the Islamic terrorists who killed more than 30 people and injured hundreds in Brussels earlier this week will walk away the victors if the United States doesn’t react with hysterics. “How can the United States make clear it’s the strongest nation on earth if we don’t get hysterical and overreact with bans on Muslims and threaten the carpet bombing of Muslims in Syria and elsewhere?” Cruz said here. Cruz was critical of President Obama for not changing his schedule to react with hysterics in the wake of the bombing. Obama is in Cuba on a long-planned trip as part of the two countries’ effort to normalize their relations with one another. More.
Boasts and counter-boasts about who among the remaining U.S. presidential candidates has the longest fingers, and therefore the most impressive endowment, took an unexpected turn when it was revealed that Democratic nomination front-runner Hillary Clinton has the longest fingers of them all. “Donald Trump might think he has his competition beat when it comes to the length of his fingers, but he might want to get out his ruler again because no one’s got an endowment like Hillary Clinton, if the length of her fingers is any guide,” says political consultant John Mayberry, who spoke this morning on CBS News. “I think this might give us some insight into who the real man in this campaign is.” More.
Two leading contenders for the Republican presidential nomination were childhood “pals” with Fidel Castro in Cuba and even attended the communist revolutionary’s twenty-sixth birthday party at his home in Havana, a report about to be released discloses. The two candidates are Sen. Marco Rubio of Florida and Sen. Ted Cruz of Texas, both of whom are of Cuban descent and who’ve criticized the communist government in Cuba and warned President Barack Obama about moving too quickly in opening diplomatic and commercial relations with the struggling country off the southern coast of Florida. More.