Poll: People ‘Kinda, Sorta’ Getting Used to This ‘Trump Thing’

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Mr. President?

Three out of four Americans say they couldn’t have imagined Donald Trump as president of the United States, but now that he’s been the front-runner for so long, they can “kinda, sorta” see him in the Oval Office.

“Trump is on the phone with Putin and he tells him it’s a BIG mistake for Russia to still be in Crimea, and Putin goes, ‘OK, Donald, help me find a face-saving way to get out.’ Yeah, I can see that conversation happening.”

pollThat’s one of the comments from the poll, which was conducted across the United States on the eve of the first-in-the-nation Iowa caucuses. As the poll was conducted, Trump was leading all other Republican contenders in both Iowa and New Hampshire, which will hold the first primary election one week after Iowa. The poll was conducted by The Washington Post and The Wall Street Journal by Policy Polls, Inc., in Bethesda, Md.

“I think people are warming to Trump,” says Don Mercer, CEO of Policy Polls, Inc. “They’ve had six months to see him in action as a candidate and they notice that, for all his faults and shortcomings—his bigotry, his xenophobia, his dislike of bodily fluids—they see how he takes command of whatever he’s involved in and drives the debate. They see that as a positive presidential trait to have.”

Other findings in the poll:

  • 96% want to see Trump without his combover
  • 89% say Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Texas) gets scarier the more they see him
  • 75% think Sen. Bernie Sanders (D-Vt.) might be Jewish but they’re not sure
  • 72% can never remember how to spell Carly Fiorini’s name
  • 68% think Sen. Marco Rubio (R-Fla.) is a handsome little feller who might make a good president someday
  • 65% could vote for New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie (R) if he wasn’t so fat
  • 60% say they want to take a comb through the hair of Sen. Rand Paul (R-Ky.)
  • 58% think it’s ironic that Hillary Clinton, when she was secretary of state, put her email on a private server to keep them from becoming a political football during her presidential run and here they’ve become a political football precisely because she put them on a private server!
  • 55% can’t believe former Sen. Rick Santorum (R-Pa.) is running again
  • 53% can’t believe former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee is running again
  • 50% can’t believe how little energy former Fla. Gov. Jeb Bush has
  • 47% can’t believe how little clue neurosurgeon Ben Carson has about everything except God
  • 43% would vote for Ohio Gov. John Kasich in a normal election with normal people
  • Not quite 1% know that former Virgina Gov. Jim Gilmore is running

Access the complete poll results.

This is a work of satire. It is fictional news article not meant to be taken seriously. Photos (some modified): gs and pd (Creative Commons and public domain). Not necessarily an endorsed use of images.

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Message for today?

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Marla Maples, the former wife of Republican presidential nomination frontrunner Donald Trump, says her former husband is endowed with wealth and a go-getter personality, but he is not well-endowed in the one aspect of his life he would like to be, and she thinks that this inadequacy is driving his presidential run. “Do I think he feels small in that respect?” asked the one-time actress who was Trump’s wife from 1993 to 1997 and was known as the “other woman” when Trump was married to Ivana Trump. They had one daughter between them, Tiffany Trump, who today is known for her enthusiastic use of Instagram. More.

 

 

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